


Black Birds Soaring In The Sky

by AmberEyedLover



Series: Dark Bingo Card [3]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Blood, F/M, M/M, Near Death, Past/Present, Secrets, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2013-04-10
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:04:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberEyedLover/pseuds/AmberEyedLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘’That isn’t a real reason Tommy’’ I spoke out as he shrugged and lifted his bag over his head and rested it on his shoulder again, one hand pushing in to the pocket of his tight jeans as the other moved to his bag’s strap.<br/>‘’It’s real enough for me.’’ He told me with another shrug and started to turn away.<br/>‘’How can I find you again’’ I asked after him as he paused and smiled towards me sweetly.<br/>‘’You can find me where the music meets the ocean’’ He told me casually, ‘’ever get the notion to play for a while, come find me’’ The blonde said before he walked away, leaving a thousand questions running through mind and nowhere close to understanding what he had meant with his words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You call my name and loves to blame.

**Author's Note:**

> A new fic I started working on for the #promt (shooting - Adommy) I was going to wait to post until I had finished but I just wanted to share it, each chapter is going to consist of two parts, a past memory which will be in ittalics and then the present day.

 

 

 

**_The day I first met you,  
you told me you’d never fall in love _ **

 

_‘’Why’’ I asked as I watched him intently, he was new to the group, tiny and blonde, feminine yet masculine. He was pretty and scary all at once._   
_‘’Why not?’’ He asked me back, his brown eyes meeting mine with a question left untold, I could feel the eyes of the group on us as a smile graced his perfect lips._   
_‘’Because it’s love, everyone should fall in love and be happy’’ I told him,_   
_‘’Do you really believe in happiness Adam?’’ He asked and I nodded,_   
_‘’Of course I do, I also believe in love because love is what keeps people together’’ I told him as he let a small laugh escape his lips before it left again and he turned around to look around the room, people was watching, of course they were, Tommy was the new kid, he was different, he dressed in heavy boots, black clothes and wore makeup, an outcast instantly within the school but he didn’t seem to care. First day here and he walked up and just sat down with our group, no questions asked as everyone turned to look at him as he jumped in to the conversation like he had been there from the start, no one cared either, they seemed happy for him to be there, he was in the year above us yet he was with us instead of his own year._   
_‘’There’s other things beside love and happiness to keep people together’’ Tommy told me as he reached over and stole one of the tomatoes from my salad, his lips forming the perfect ‘o’ shaped as he moved It between them and smiled towards me,_   
_‘’But that isn’t real’’ I tried to defend, forgetting how we had even gotten on to the subject of relationships and love in the space of forty minutes of Tommy turning up at our table._   
_‘’Not everything is real’’ He retorted and I frowned slightly._   
_‘’He’s right honey’’ Brad spoke out and I sent a glare towards him as he shrugged._   
_‘’Well I want to fall in love, its romantic and sweet and I want to experience that’’ I shrugged out as I went back to eating my salad, the weight of stares on me before I glanced up to see Tommy watching me again. ‘’what’’ I asked him as he shrugged,_   
_‘Nothing, im just trying to work out why you would want to fall in love’’ Tommy told me and I frowned._   
_‘’Well wouldn’t you want to?’’ I asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and sat back in the small plastic chairs which were spread throughout the cafeteria._   
_‘’I’ll never fall in love’’ Tommy told me, his voice calm and simple as if he had thought about that question a lot before in the past_   
_‘’why’’ I asked, the same untold question clear in his eyes before I felt a foot nudge against mine and I swallowed softly as Tommy smiled towards me, a small playful glint in his eyes._   
_‘’Because love doesn’t exist in the real world, only lust and want and lies’’ He spoke out as the foot nudged against mine again before sliding up slightly, my pant leg rising with it before it pulled away again as Tommy stood._   
_‘’That isn’t a real reason Tommy’’ I spoke out as he shrugged and lifted his bag over his head and rested it on his shoulder again, one hand pushing in to the pocket of his tight jeans as the other moved to his bag’s strap._   
_‘’It’s real enough for me.’’ He told me with another shrug and started to turn away._   
_‘’How can I find you again’’ I asked after him as he paused and smiled towards me sweetly._   
_‘’You can find me where the music meets the ocean’’ He told me casually, ‘’ever get the notion to play for a while, come find me’’ The blonde said before he walked away, leaving a thousand questions running through mind and nowhere close to understanding what he had meant with his words._

**.oΩo. **

‘’Don’t you fucking dare Tommy’’ I yelled out at him, tears in my eyes as he choked on his breath slightly, eyes filled with pain as he let them flicker open to meet mine.  
‘’Adam’’  He choked out and I shook my head slightly as I pushed my hand against his stomach tighter,  
‘’Don’t you dare leave me Tommy, don’t you fucking dare’’ I sobbed out, a small smile gracing his lips before he coughed slightly, red decorating his lips as his hand reached out to cover mine on his stomach. I could still hear the commotion around us but I tried my best to ignore it and focused on Tommy the most.  
‘’Im sorry’’ His words were whispered as I shook my head again and wiped my eyes against my shoulders and moved close t him, ‘’I didn’t…I didn’t mean to’’  
‘’No, don’t be Tommy, it isn’t your fault’’ I told him as I brought a hand up and pushed his blonde hair out his eyes which looked a little cold, ‘’you’re gunna be fine, I promise you, we’re gunna get you all fixed up and you will be up on your feet before you know it okay’’ I told him, my eyes flicking down to his stomach and pressing a little harder, the wetness warm against my skin as I brushed my eyes against my shoulders again and looked up as Brad came running back over with another guy I didn’t know.  
‘’Im cold’’ Tommy choked out again and I turned to stare at him quickly,  
‘’No’’ I whispered as I brushed my fingers through his hair again as his eyes opened slowly to stare up at me, the shine gone slightly as knees hit the ground beside me.  
‘’Here use this and keep the pressure against his stomach as you are’’ The guy I didn’t know told me as he held out a cloth, taking my hand away from Tommy’s hair, I grabbed it before I moved to his stomach and quickly changed it over and pressed my hand against it again as a pained sound left Tommy’s lips.

In the background, I could hear the sirens as another hand joined mine and I looked up with tear filled eyes to look at Brad,  
‘’Adam’’ Tommy’s breath was slow as I turned back to look at him,  
‘’It’s okay, I got it’’ Brad spoke out as his hand slipped under mine and I nodded slightly as I moved closer and lifted Tommy’s head up carefully and moved it against my thigh as I brushed his hair away again, pained eyes staring at me before his hand slowly lifted and I caught it in mine, not really caring that I was covering his own hand in his own blood.  
‘’It’s going to be okay, you hear me’’ I told him, ‘’I promise you’’ I whispered,  
‘’Don’t…go…scared’’ Tommy gasped out, eyes closing as his grip loosened in my hand slightly,  
‘’Tommy, no…im not going anywhere but you have to stay awake for me’’ I told him a little louder as his eyes flicked open again slowly,  
‘’Keep him talking to you, it will help to keep him awake’’ The guy spoke out as I nodded.  
’’Tommy’’ I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair again softly, ‘’remember what we talked about last week?’’ I asked, his head nodding softly as he tried to squeeze my hand, ‘’tell me, remind me of everything we said’’ I whispered to him.  
‘’Beach…’’ He stuttered out.  
‘’What about the beach Tommy’’ I asked him, my hand which was smoothing through hair still moved to touch against his skin.  
‘’Me…you’’ He struggled out on a cough, ‘’together, dancing in…moonlight’’  
‘’that’s it Tommy, dancing together under the moonlight, where the music meets the ocean remember’’ I told him, ‘’no open your eyes baby…that’s it Tommy’’ I cried out slightly as I felt a tear escape my eyes and roll down my cheek as someone shouted to someone else about where we were.  
‘’Im…im sorry’’ Tommy repeated again and I shook my head and leaned down, my lips pressing a kiss against his forehead which felt a little colder.  
‘’It’s not your fault Tommy’’ I whispered as another tear fell.  
‘’I…I want…’’ His words were a little slower as there was footsteps running towards us and I kept my eyes on Tommy’s.  
‘’Want what Tommy?’’ I asked as his hand left mine and he slowly raised it to the front of my shirt.  
‘’Again’’ He cried out in pain, head turning in to my lap a little as I turned his face up slightly more towards him  
‘’what do you want Tommy, tell me’’ I cried out slightly as a tear escape his own eyes and I quickly brushed it away.  
‘’I don’t…I don’t want to die’’ He choked out as his lips were coated more in ruby red.  
‘’I’m not going to let that happen Tommy. We have plans remember, me and you together. Remember that, we are going to get our own little place together right on the beach front, a room full of guitars for you and a room for me to sing in’’ I told him as more tears filled my vision, ‘’going to dance every night in the moon light, gunna tell you how beautiful I think you are when we lay in bed together again’’ I choked out.  
‘’Trace…trace the shadows…body’’ Tommy whispered weakly, ‘’wasn’t…never asleep’’ Hearing him, I laughed brokenly as I wiped my eyes on my sleeve again,  
‘’Yeah, im going to spend hours tracing every shadow and line the moon creates on your skin baby, always thought you were asleep when I did that, you look so beautiful and peaceful, can’t help but touch your skin when your laid beside me.’’ I told him, I could feel Brad’s eyes on me as I made Tommy talk, knowing that he would be confused but I didn’t care.  
‘’Cold…Adam’’ Tommy struggled out, face pulled in pain as I felt more tears slip down over my cheeks.  
‘’It’s going to be okay Tommy, I promise’’ I whispered to him as I ran my fingers through blonde hair again as  leaned down, my lips pressing against his lightly and shakily before I pulled back and rested my forehead against his.

‘’Adam’’ Brad’s voice was gentle as I looked up at him.  
‘’What…no you have to keep pressure Brad, don’t let go’’ I cried out to him once I realized how close he was to me.  
‘’It’s okay honey, they are here to help’’ He told me before I turned to see two men in uniform knelt either side of Tommy’s body, their hands pulling at his clothes as I turned back.  
‘’It’s going to be okay Tommy, you’re going to be just fine, helps here now, just keep holding on for longer, for me’’ I whispered as I moved my hand over his again which was still holding on to the front of my T-shirt.


	2. Sometimes I wonder where we belong

_‘’I’ve heard that he left because he got in to trouble with a gang, got kicked out of Torrance high’’ Turning slightly, I glanced towards the two girls who were whispering to each other by the lockers as I started to change my books over for the last lesson of the day, I could tell that they were in the same year as Tommy as I turned back and stared in to my locker._   
_‘’I don’t know but he’s hot, but did you see the way he walked in to the cafeteria and sat with those loses?’’ The other asked and I bit my lip slightly before pushing my history book in to my bag and reached up to grab my phone which was sat on the top shelf._   
_‘’I can’t believe we only have a year left and then he’s gone…well that’s if he doesn’t get kicked out of this school, I’ve heard that he’s already gotten in to trouble this morning’’ Another voice joined the girls and I glanced over to see a third huddled closer to them._   
_‘’Do you know his name?’’ One asked,_   
_‘’I know his last name, Ratliff’’ The third girl said as I turned back with a small smile._   
_‘’I think a teacher called him Thomas but I don’t know, he didn’t respond to it at all’’ The second girl added in as I closed the locker door and spun my dial back to lock it again._   
_Hooking my thumb in to the strap of my bag, I leaned against the locker slightly before they glanced towards me, faces falling slightly as if they had noticed me stood there and wondered if I had overheard their conversations._   
_‘’His names Tommy by the way’’ I told them as I pushed away from the lockers. ‘’Not Thomas, he hates that’’ I started to say before I heard a laugh from behind me and I turned to see Tommy stood there with an amused expression on his face._   
_‘’Thank you, for once someone understands’’ He laughed as he walked closer and hooked his arm around my neck before dragging me away from the three girls, ‘’sorry, I just hate people calling me Thomas and you are like the first person to mention that’’ He told me as he dropped his arm away and I shrugged slightly._   
_‘’Its fine, I don’t like people talking about people behind their back like they were doing to you…you weren’t in a gang really were you?’’ I asked quickly as he laughed, another smile gracing his perfect lips as he threw a small glance towards me and stopped before turning his body towards mine and making me step back as he stepped closer._   
_‘’Would you be scared of me if I was’’ He asked, his head cocked to the side slightly as I breathed out._   
_‘’Depends’’ I told him as we both took a step again, me back and him closer._   
_‘’Depends on what Adam?’’ He asked, voice laced low and hushed as if he didn’t want to disturb anyone in the hallway which I quickly realized was quiet._   
_‘’Depends on if how dangerous the gang was’’ I told him softly as another smile graced his lips and we danced our steps again until I felt my back hit against the wall as Tommy crowded around me, his hands resting against the wall either side of my body as he leaned closer._   
_‘’No gang, no drugs, no pregnant girlfriend, no fucking teachers to get better grades, but I did get kicked out of Torrance high for beating the shit out of a bunch of homophobic’s, started on this girl, calling her and her girlfriend names before they turned on this gay guy…the wrong gay guy should I say, they didn’t expect me to fight back’’ He whispered in to my ear as I swallowed slightly, my eyes meeting his as he pulled away with a smile, ‘’I can trust you not to tell anyone right Adam?’’ He asked, ‘’I mean what’s one secret about sexuality to another gay guy?’’ He whispered and I stared at him in shock as he laughed softly._   
_‘’Im…what…’’ I stuttered out as he laughed softly,_   
_‘’Just like I know Brad is too, he probably knows about you too…both probably tried dating at one point but turned out to be friends better instead?’’ He asked and I felt a small blush creep up to the tip of my ears slightly as he smiled._   
_‘’How’’ I asked as he shrugged and moved away._   
_‘’The way you look at each other, and plus, no straight guy would wear what you have on’’ Tommy grinned as he started to walk down the hall again._

_Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, I quickly looked around to see it still empty before I pushed away and quickly hurried to my next class as the bell went off, sliding in to the classroom just as the teacher started to close the door, she looked at me with a knowing smile before she laughed._   
_‘’How many times have you just made it Adam to my class now’’ She asked,_   
_‘’Sorry’’ I quickly told her as I walked through the desks to my seat beside Brad who grinned at me,_   
_‘’what was it this time, pirates kidnapped you and held your books ransom?’’ He asked and I laughed softly as I shook my head,_   
_‘’No, was changing my books over, thought I had more time than I did’’ I told him as he looked at me with his ‘I don’t believe you, but im going to let it slide’ look._   
_Sitting back in my seat as the teacher started to talk, I glanced towards the hallway before back again with a soft sigh as the lesson went on slowly._   
_‘’Worked out where you want to go for college yet?’’ Brad whispered to me and I glanced towards him with a shrug,_   
_‘’Not yet, you?’’ I asked as he grinned,_   
_‘’There’s this great fashion program in Los Angeles, im applying there and for another place here but really hoping to get in to LA’’ He told me as I grinned slightly and nodded,_   
_‘’That sounds great’’ I grinned out to him before we both turned back to the lesson._

_‘’Hey Tommy-Joe, hurry your lazy fucking ass up’’ Hearing a female’s voice shouting, I turned to see her sat on a motorcycle before Tommy appeared, a laugh on his lips as he walked closer and tightened the strap on his bag before he caught the helmet which was chucked towards him._   
_‘’Love you too princess, now move your ass back’’ Tommy torted back to her, the two of them ignoring the stares of everyone around them as he pulled the helmet on along with the girl before she slid back on the motorcycle and he lifted his leg up and straddled it._   
_Breathing out slightly, I turned away and carried on walking again as the sound of the bike kicked up before the low rumble faded a little as it moved down the road strip before turning back, kicking at the ground slightly I pulled my IPod out my pocket and started to unwind the wires before the bike came to a slow crawl beside me and I looked up quickly to see the visor of Tommy’s helmet up before he smirked and rode off again, the girls arms tight around his waist as his hand moved back up and pushed his visor down before they went out of view._   
_‘’What was that all about?’’ Brad asked, making me jump as I turned to stare at him and then the way Tommy went._   
_‘’I have no idea’’ I admitted._

_Little did I know, it was the start of it all…_

**.oΩo. **

‘’Tommy’’ I whispered out to him as his eyes closed, ‘’open your eyes baby, come on for me’’ I whispered out again as they slowly opened again and looked up at me.  
‘’Adam…what…what are you doing here?’’ He asked and I frowned slightly as I looked down at him and then up again at Brad and the paramedics,  
‘’its okay, people can often forget where they are’’ One of the men told me as I nodded and looked back down at Tommy.  
‘’Remember Tommy, you got hurt, you tried to stop a fight between a few guys’’ I told him as I brushed my fingers through his hair again, pain clear in his eyes as he tried to move,  
‘’Im okay…just tired’’ He struggled out as I shook my head, my cheek wiping across my shirt.  
‘’You have to stay awake baby okay, don’t go to sleep’’ I told him, the color of his skin seemed a little paler than normal as I held him closer to me.  
‘’Lipstick…not your thing’’ He breathed out, a small cry of pain leaving his lips as one of the paramedics pressed down on his stomach again, ‘’my thing’’ He muttered and I chuckled lightly as I nodded.  
‘’Don’t worry about that Tommy, you just worry on keeping your eyes open and talking to me okay, we’ll get you fixed up in no time’’  
‘’Promise’’ Tommy whispered as I nodded, tears in my vision again,  
‘’I promise Tommy’’ I whispered back.  
‘’He’s lost too much blood, we have to get him to the hospital’’ The paramedic told the other before he turned to look towards us and then down at Tommy.  
‘’You need to tell me your age son, when’s your birthday?’’ He asked as Tommy’s eyes slowly slipped closed again. ‘’Tommy, wake up son’’ He shouted out as Tommy slowly opened them again, eyes distant.  
‘’Son do you know if he has a wallet or anything with identification’’ They asked me and I brushed my shoulder against my eyes again as I nodded.  
‘’Wallet…should be…should be in his pocket’’ I told them as I turned to smooth my thumb over Tommy’s cheek softly.

‘’Thomas Josepha Ratliff’’ The paramedic spoke out as he found Tommy’s wallet and opened it up.  
‘’Tommy…Tommy…he hates being called Thomas’’ I spoke out,  
‘’Okay thanks son’’ They told me as I nodded, ‘’his birthday is the 18th of October , he’s an 18 year old white male, gunshot wound to the lower abdomen…’’ I let their voices trail off as I stared down at him.  
‘’Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday today Tommy?’’ I asked him as his eyes met mine slowly.  
‘’Not…important’’ He choked out faintly.  
‘’Okay son, we need to get him in the ambulance and to the hospital as quick as we can’’ They told me as I shook my head and held on to Tommy’s hand tighter which was still around my shirt.  
‘’Im not leaving him’’ I told them through tear filled eyes,  
‘’Im sorry son but if your not family or a relative, we can’t let you ride’’ They told me,  
‘’Adam, I can drive you’’ Brad spoke out and I looked at him and down at Tommy again before pressing a kiss back to his lips again.  
‘’Im only going to be gone for a little while Tommy, okay, but I promise you im going to be right back by your side again’’ I whispered to him before I moved and let the paramedics lift him on to the stretcher before taking him away again, reaching up with my clean hand, I wiped it across my eyes before I moved to my feet.  
‘’Lets go, I want to be there for him’’ I told Brad who nodded and grabbed my hand as we moved towards where his car was parked up.


	3. Right from the start, you were a thief, you stole my heart

 

 

_ _

 

 

_‘’Come on Adam, we never go out any more and the others want to see you too’’ Brad complained as he danced about my bedroom and I rolled my eyes slightly,_   
_‘’You just want to walk in the sun and spot hot guys to watch’’ I told him as I turned back to my books and carried on writing different notes down until he stole the pen out my hand and tilted his head, hand on hip._   
_‘’One day Adam, that’s all im asking for’’ He told me with a pout and I sighed._   
_‘’Fine but you’re buying me lunch and we are going to the music store’’ I told him as I pushed my books away and closed them as he clapped and grinned._   
_‘’Great, go shower while I grab clothes for you to wear, we need to get you laid again and maybe you will stop being such a grumpy gay  all the time’’ He gushed out, hands pressed together as he turned and stalked towards my dresser._

_‘’Live a little honey’’ Brad giggled as we walked along the street and towards the café where the rest of our friends were waiting for us._   
_‘’Brad you practically attacked that guy for his number’’ I told him as I pushed my hands in to the pockets of the leather jacket I had forgotten I owned until Brad had found it buried away in the back of my wardrobe._   
_‘’Yeah but still, you have a guy’s number’’ Brad laughed out, his voice in a sing song as I rolled my eyes and turned back to stare at the ground as we walked,_   
_‘’To be honest, he wasn’t really my type’’ I chuckled softly as I pulled the paper out and held it towards Brad who grinned,_   
_‘’Yay’’ He squealed as he took it and pushed it in to his own pocket, shaking my head slightly as we walked, I pulled the door of the café open for him and glance up, a motorcycle catching my eyes a little further down, shaking the thoughts away, I headed in side and Joined Brad with the others._

_Half an hour later, I slipped my glasses down over my eyes as I grabbed a piece of lettuce from the plate and rested back against my seat again as the others talked together._   
_Letting my eyes roam around I scratched at my wrist before they landed on a tattoo store and I grinned slightly. ‘’I want a tattoo’’ I spoke out randomly as Brad and Drake turned to look at me confused._   
_‘’What brought that on?’’ Drake asked and I shrugged slightly._   
_‘’Saw the store, and I’ve been wanting to get one for ages’’ I told them as I pulled my wallet out my pocket and counted my money before I pushed it in again. ‘’im going to get one done, who’s going to come with me’’ I asked as I stood and slipped my jacket o._   
_‘’Im staying’’ Brad piped out as I nodded,_   
_‘’I’ll come with ya, I might get something of my own’’ Drake laughed out as I nodded,_   
_‘’Great, let’s go then’’ I told him as I stood._

_Walking across the café and out of the courtyard which we were sat in before we started to walk down towards the shop, ‘’what are you thinking about getting?’’ Drake asked and I shrugged slightly,_   
_‘’I don’t know, I’ve been keen on the eye of Horus. Have been since we done that play last year’’ I told him as he nodded, pulling the shop door open, I stepped inside and pushed my glasses up on to the top of my head I breathed in the smell of the shop before smiling towards the girl behind the counter before I walked over._   
_‘’I was wondering if you had a spare appointment today?’’ I asked before she glanced down and started to flip through an appointment booklet._   
_‘’We sure do, what were you wanting to get? We can fit you in now before Lance’s o’clock appointment’’ The girl asked as I grinned._   
_‘’That’s great, and I want to get the eye of Horus done on my wrist’’ I told her as she nodded and wrote it down,_   
_‘’Take a seat and Lance will come grab you when he’s ready’’ The girl told me before she walked past the counter and through a large alcove where a large male was sat at a desk, looking around, I watched another tattooist before I turned back to see Drake looking through some large poster boards._   
_‘’All sorted?’’ He asked as I nodded and slipped my jacket off, glad that Brad had picked out a top with short sleeves as I handed him my jacket._   
_‘’Hey, could I get some contact details’’ Turning to see the girl, I smiled and nodded before following her back to the counter where I took the form from her and a pen before filling it out quickly and handed it over with the money._

_‘’Alright Adam, im ready for you ‘’ Looking up from the tattoo book which I was looking through, I smiled and stood before I walked towards him and through the alcove before he pointed towards the chair, sitting down, I watched as he moved around and held a stencil up._   
_‘’You said the wrist on your form so from a few glances of you moving around I came up with this size, good for you?’’ He asked as I looked at it and nodded,_   
_‘’Yeah, it’s perfect’’ I told him with a grin,_   
_‘’Great, lets get started then’’ He told me as he pulled a seat closer and sat down,_   
_‘’so is this your first?’’ He asked as I nodded and rested my hand on the rest, ‘’a good design’’ He told me with a smile as he wiped my wrist down before grabbing a razor, watching as he moved around, I rested my head back and brought a leg up slightly as he pressed the stencil on to my skin and then pulled it away again, ‘’Have a look at that and tell me what you think’’ He told me._   
_Bringing my arm up, I turned it slightly before I smiled and laid it down again. ‘’Looks great’’ I told him as he nodded._   
_‘’Alright, remember to hold still and I wont bite too hard’’ The guy told me with a grin as I laughed softly  before I laid back again as he moved closer again with the tattoo machine, the sound running through my body slightly before he started to work on the outline._   
_‘’Ashley baby your looking gorgeous as ever’’ Hearing a voice laugh out, I glanced up and towards the entrance where I could see Drake sat on the couch still as the girl from the counter looked up._   
_‘’You’re early’’ she squealed out before running around the counter and out of view._   
_Turning back, I watched as the tattooist wiped it down again, a small smile playing over the corner of my lips as I took in the outline as he moved away to change the needles over._   
_‘’Lance, your 2pm is here early and he brought trouble’’ The girl spoke out as she moved closer to the alcove._   
_‘’Tell em’ both to keep it cool’’ Lance spoke out before he turned back, ‘’sorry about that’’ He told me as I shook my head slightly,_   
_‘’its fine’’ I told him._   
_‘’Hey that’s mine you thief’’_   
_‘’what I haven’t had sugar and I needed it’’ Another voice spoke out as I glanced up to see Drake come closer._   
_‘’Hey Brad’s calling your phone, im going to take it outside’’ Turning I nodded slightly._   
_‘’Alright’’ I told him as he quickly walked away again._   
_‘’Lanceeee’’ Looking over at the tattooist as he laughed slightly and moved the machine away before he looked over his shoulder and back again. ‘’dude seriously you should totally get a soda machine in here…Adam, hey’’ Snapping my head up, I met brown eyes before the same small smirk appeared over his lips, ‘’Ah sweet your getting inked’’ Tommy grinned out as he nudged his way closer, taking a small breath slightly, I nodded, he looked good…too good, he had the same black boots on from school before even tighter jeans and shirt which cut off to show arms full of tattoos which had been hidden away under a jacket in school._

_Clearing my thoughts quickly, I flexed, my fingers quickly as Lance turned to the ink again before back, ‘’so what are we doing on you today Tommy?’’ He asked, eyes glancing up briefly to where Tommy was stood behind the chair slightly but still to my side as he grinned and rested his arm just behind my head on the chair._   
_‘’Not much, just going to get you to finish Michael off’’ Tommy said as Lance nodded with a grin, ‘’that totally looks awesome Adam’’ Tommy told me and I glanced up slightly with a smile,_   
_‘’Thanks’’ I told him before I let my eyes fall to look over his arms which he moved and stuck it out with a laugh._   
_‘’Pretty rad huh’’ He asked as I nodded,_   
_‘’Yeah, not much of a horror guy but they are amazing’’ I told him before glancing up again as he smirked._   
_‘’Yo pretty boy…ooooo you are cute’’ Looking up as a girl stood in the alcove, Tommy laughed,_   
_‘’Leave him alone Mia’’ Tommy spoke out as she rolled her eyes,_   
_‘’Oh let me flirt with the hot guy for once Tommy’’ She spoke and I glanced up at Tommy as he coughed slightly to hide a laugh. ‘’oh come on…is every hot guy you know gay?’’ She complained which got him laughing as I felt myself blush slightly._   
_‘’Sorry’’ I told her as she rolled her eyes,_   
_‘’Guys seriously, trying to work here. Go play and annoy Ashley out front’’ Lance told them,_   
_‘’Hey I heard that’’ The other girl yelled out as I grinned slightly and turned back to look down at how far he had finished my tattoo._   
_Feeling fingers touch against the back of my neck, I swallowed slightly and looked up as Tommy walked past again, his eyes catching mine with a small smile which had my heart crashing against my chest as he turned out of view._

_Yeah Tommy Ratliff was going to mean something in my life, no matter how long it took. He had already stolen my heart without trying._

.oΩo.

‘’Hurry up and drive’’ I yelled at Brad as he slowed down again.  
‘’Honey, I know you want to get there but what the hell is going on?’’ He asked and I shot a glare towards him, ‘’okay, okay no questions but I can only go as quick as the traffic will let me’’ He told me as I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes again and bounced my foot slightly, letting my eyes fall in to my lap, I stared at my hands at the dried blood which coated mainly one before I let my eyes move to my wrist at the tattoo before I let my eyes squeeze closed again as I thought about everything which was going on.  
I was scared of what was going to happen to Tommy, how things might end up changing if anything happened. ‘’Adam sweetie, are you okay?’’ Turning to look at Brad, I felt tears fill my eyes again as I shook my head and sniffed.  
‘’Im so scared Brad’’ I admitted to him quietly, ‘’why did it have to happen to him?’’ I whispered as he glanced over before his hand found mine.  
‘’It will be okay Adam’’ He whispered to me softly as I turned back and stared out the windows with a blank expression, fear gripping my heart tightly as I prayed for traffic to quicken.

Watching as the hospital came in to view and Brad pulled up, I climbed out the car quickly before I ran towards the doors, tripping slightly, I pushed myself back up again and through the doors before I glanced around and moved towards the front desk.  
‘’Sweetie, you’re covered in blood, are you hurt?’’ The nurse asked as her eyes went wide when she saw the blood on my hands and clothes.  
‘’Im fine…Tommy…Tommy Ratliff, he was brought in, gunshot wound…please can you tell me where he is’’ I asked as I wiped my eyes again and she frowned,  
‘’Im not supposed to say anything because you aren’t family, but I can see you care for the boy’’ She told me before turning to the computer where she typed a few things. ‘’he’s in surgery at the moment but he will be taken to the ICU ward which is three floors up and to the left’’ She told me before she reached over the desk and touched my hand, ‘’If they ask, tell them you are his boyfriend, they wont be able to refuse you staying’’ She whispered as I nodded.  
‘’Thank you’’ I told her as I wiped my eyes again and quickly turned towards the elevators, pressing the call button, I touched my pockets and felt my phone which I quickly pulled out and turned off as the doors opened and I stepped in, ignoring the looks of the few people inside, I pressed the third floor button and took a deep breath as I tried to calm my heart slightly. Feeling the elevator slow down a floor above, I cursed to myself as the doors open and a few people go in, their eyes roaming over me before a doctor joined and his face pulled in to worry.  
‘’Son, are you okay?’’ He asked as I nodded, ‘’Are you sure, you’re covered in blood’’  
‘’Im fine, it’s my boyfriends, he was shot’’ I choked out slightly as I wiped at my eyes again.  
‘’Thomas Ratliff’’ He asked,  
‘’Tommy, he hates Thomas’’ I whispered out as the doctor nodded and glanced around.  
‘’I shouldn’t be talking to you here but I was informed that there wasn’t any relatives, he’s in surgery at the moment but we need permission to do another surgery when he gets a little stronger’’ He told me and I stared at him in shock slightly before the confusion set in.  
‘’I…I don’t understand’’ I whispered.  
‘’Please, come with me’’ The doctor told me as the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened, following him out and through the ward until we came to a family room, I walked inside as he closed the door behind me. ‘’the first surgery is a blood transfusion, Thomas…Sorry Tommy, he lost a lot of blood, I understand you had been keeping pressure on the wound until the paramedics turned up’’ He asked and I nodded. ‘’that’s good, that helped to stop the flow a little more, but he is weak ,very weak’’ The doctor told me before showing me to a chair, sitting down in it, I stared at him as he sat down across from me,  
‘’But he is going to be okay right?’’ I asked as I sniffed a little and wiped my eyes again,  
‘’It’s going to be touch and go for a few days, we are going to be keeping him in the ICU until he is strong enough for the second surgery if you give us the go ahead’’ He asked as I nodded,  
‘’What’s the second one for?’’ I asked softly,  
‘’It’s to remove the bullet, again it’s a risky operation but it could do more damage if we leave it in for too long.’’ He told me as I nodded and leaned forward on my knees, ‘’I can find you some spare clothes and show you a rest room where you can shower and clean up’’ He told me and I nodded softly.  
‘’That would be great thank you’’ I whispered as he nodded.

Here hours later, showered and dressed in a pair of scrubs, I rubbed my hands over each other as I paced the family room still waiting on news on Tommy before I heard the door open and I turned quickly to see Brad walk in with a bag.  
’’Where the hell have you been’’ I asked as he glanced around,  
’’I went back to yours and got you some clothes, I tried phoning but your phones off’’ He told me as I nodded and watched as he walked towards me, taking the bag from him, I moved over to the chairs and opened it before I quickly changed in to my own clothes again and finished pulling my top on when the door opened again and the doctor walked back in, his eyes looking towards Brad before back to me again.  
‘’Tommy is out of surgery, we are bringing him up now but everything went like we wanted, no compactions at all’’ He told me and I nodded with a smile.  
‘’Can I go and see him?’’ I asked,  
‘’Not straight away, someone will come and talk to you about insurance and other medical forms first but then im sure Tommy will be settled in and resting and someone will come and get you’’ He told me as I nodded and watched as he left, turning I looked towards Brad as he shook his head and walked over, his arms folding around me as I hugged him back tightly.  
‘’I told you that it would be okay’’ He told me as I nodded,  
‘’I know but he isn’t out the woods, the doctor says he lost a lot of blood and he needs another surgery to remove the bullet’’ I told him quietly before I pulled away, ‘’he could still die’’ I whispered out as tears started to fill my eyes again.  
‘’Oh honey, you love him don’t you’’ Brad whispered as I stared at him.  
‘’More than you think’’ I whispered.


	4. My Life is a waiting game

_‘’What are you doing here?’’ Hearing his voice, I turned quickly to see Tommy stood in the alcove of the tattoo studio as I shrugged slightly._   
_‘’Wanted to get another tattoo I guess, no other reason to be here’’ I told him as he nodded, his eyes glancing over me before it fell on my wrist._   
_‘’How’s that one healed up?’’ He asked and I looked down and pushed my sleeve up slightly to look at it before his footsteps echoed across the flooring, rough fingertips wrapping around my wrist before he trailed a finger over the healed ink, ‘’it looks good’’ Tommy told me and I swallowed slightly before nodding as I looked up at him,_   
_‘’Lance is a good artist’’ I shrugged out as his brown eyes met mine and a smile played over his lips,_   
_‘’Indeed he is, I don’t trust any other tattooist than Lance’’ Tommy told me as I nodded slightly,_   
_‘’All ready for you Adam, come through when you want’’ A voice called out and I jumped slightly and looked towards the alcove before back to Tommy as he smiled and took a step away, his touch slowly leaving my wrist as I started to walk towards the space._   
_‘’Mind if I stayed?’’ Pausing, I glanced back at Tommy with a small smile,_   
_‘’Of course not’’ I told him before I turned and walked through._

_Laying back in the chair again, I let my eyes close as the sounds of the tattoo machine buzzed through the air as I relaxed again,_   
_‘’So are we going to be booking you again soon Tommy?’’ Lance spoke out and I opened my eyes and glanced towards the side where Tommy was sat and shrugged,_   
_‘’Don’t know to be honest, you’ve finished of all the portraits for now, don’t think there’s any work left until I decide I want another tattoo’’ Tommy told Lance as he turned his eyes back to where he was wiping my wrist down, looking down myself, I smiled softly to myself before lifting it up and looked at the infinity symbol before resting my arm back down on the rest again as Lance turned back with the cream and wrap._   
_‘’So that’s you all set son, I trust you remember how to care for it’’ Lance asked as I nodded and flexed my fingers slightly again before I stood up from the chair and shook his hand, ‘’Just pay with Ashley out front’’ Nodding to him, I headed out and to the front counter where I handed my money over with a smile before turning, stepping forward, I pushed my wallet back in to my pocket before jumping as I looked up and saw Tommy stood in front of me again._   
_‘’Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump’’ He grinned out as he slipped his hands in to his front pockets and rocked on his feet slightly,_   
_‘’Its fine’’ I told him with a soft smile as he nodded slightly,_   
_‘’Do you…I don’t know…wanna get ice cream or something?’’ Tommy asked before there was a laugh behind us and I glanced over to see Ashley blushing slightly._   
_‘’Sorry, I’ve just never seen Tommy get so tongue tired over asking a guy out’’ She giggled before I glanced back over at Tommy to see him staring down at his shoes, a tiny hint of red on his cheeks as I smiled softly._   
_‘’Sure why not’’ I smiled out and watched as he quickly looked up at me, the shock of surprise clear before it broke in to a bright smile which had my heart and stomach fluttering in a harsh beat together._

_Heading out the shop, I paused slightly and glanced back to see Ashley given Tommy the thumbs up and I was confused slightly as I looked away and down at my wrist as I smooth my thumb over the small strip of tape holding the edge down._   
_‘’You ready’’ Looking up at Tommy, I nodded before turning to walk down the street with him in silence, ‘’you know, im not going to bite you’’ Tommy told me and I glanced over at him to see him already staring, a small grin on his lips as I chuckled and nodded._   
_‘’I know’’ I told him as he nodded slightly, ‘’just trying to figure you out’’ I shrugged as he rose an eyebrow,_   
_‘’How is that going?’’ He asked and I frowned slightly before I turned back and watched as we walked,_   
_‘’Not good, you confuse me’’ I told him honestly,_   
_‘’Confuse you? How’’ He asked and I chuckled softly,_   
_‘’You tell me to meet you where the music meets the ocean when I asked how I could find you again but then you just keep turning up everywhere I go’’ I told him as he laughed softly._   
_‘’Honestly, I don’t mean too, im not like…stalking you or anything’’ Tommy quickly told me and I couldn’t help but laugh as I looked over at him again,_   
_‘’Don’t believe that you were’’ I told him as he nodded,_   
_‘’Good’’ He smiled, smiling back at him, I kept my eyes on him before I felt myself trip slightly and I turned back, a blush over my cheeks as he laughed and I shot a glare towards him, ‘’sorry’’ he told me, a bright smile on his face. Walking a little further down the street, I followed Tommy in to a small café slash diner before following him through towards the back and a booth which we both slipped in to across from each other._

_‘’So can I ask you about something?’’ I asked Tommy once we had ice creams in front of us, his eyes rising to meet mine as he nodded, the silver spoon stuck between his lips before he slowly dragged it out,_   
_‘’Sure dude’’ He grinned out with a grin as I swallowed slightly and dropped my eyes,_   
_‘’That day, last week what was that whole thing with the bike about?’’ I asked as I glanced back up to see him smirking before shrugging,_   
_‘’You interest me’’ Tommy told me simply, ‘’you aren’t like others, for one you defended me when you hardly know me’’ He shrugged out and I frowned slightly before I remember about the three girls talking about him and I blushed slightly and dipped my head back down as I ate another spoon of ice cream and swallowed it down,_   
_‘’People shouldn’t talk behind others back’’ I shrugged out, ‘’let alone make rumors up about them which isn’t true’’_   
_‘’But you asked me about a gang’’ He reminded me and I looked up and locked eyes with him as I shrugged slightly, the feeling of my cheeks warmed slightly but not enough to color again._   
_‘’You basically crowded me against a wall in an empty hallway’’ I retorted, the corner of his lips curling up in to a smile as he nodded faintly._   
_‘’I did, but im not sorry you know, it was another way which made me know you were gay’’ He told me and I frowned,_   
_‘’How?’’_   
_‘’You never pushed me away and you swallowed deeply when I whispered in your ear’’ Tommy grinned at me, his eyes leaving as he looked down again ‘’but everything I told you was true, I was kicked out for fighting and I don’t regret it’’ He told me. ‘’there’s still questions you want to ask, go ahead’’ Tommy told me as he kept his eyes down and carried on eating before  his eyes flicked up as if he was waiting._   
_‘’Why us? I mean, you’re in the year above, so why did you come and sit with us’’ I asked softly_   
_‘’Simple, because everyone was acting like I was a piece of meat, your table was the only ones who wasn’t even looking in my direction when I walked in and I wanted to sit with you guys because I saw you’’ Tommy told me, his eyes still down on his ice cream before he looked up at me._   
_‘’Why me’’ I asked and he chuckled softly,_   
_‘’Adam have you seen yourself?’’ He asked and I shrugged slightly, ‘’you’re gorgeous, you turn people’s heads when you walk past them, everyone in school looks at you when you pass them’’ Tommy told me and I let a small laugh out,_   
_‘’I think you are wrong about that, no one notices me’’ I told him as I let my spoon dip back in to my dessert before pulling it to my mouth again as I ate and swallowed._   
_‘’People notice you Adam’’ Tommy told me as I looked back up, his brown eyes staring at me._   
_‘’You’ve eaten to much ice cream Tommy, its gone to your head and frozen that brain of yours’’ I told him as I looked away and back down as my phone started to ring, pulling it out my pocket, I checked the id before glancing back up, ‘’sorry got to get this’’ I told him as I slipped out the booth and walked away slightly. ‘’hey mom’’ I spoke in to the phone as I reached up and rubbed the side of my neck slightly, ‘’no just out with a friend at the moment…no it isn’t Brad’’ I told her before I looked up and turned, glancing towards Tommy, I couldn’t help but grin slightly as I watched him lean over and steal a few spoonfuls of my ice cream before sitting back again, his head turning towards me, eyes going wide before I grinned and he turned away with a smile and what I thought was a hint of blush on his cheeks._

_‘’Huh…no im still here sorry’’ I told my mom as she laughed on the other end, ‘’yeah that’s fine, I’ll text you or ring Neil when im on the way to yours’’ I told her before I chuckled softly, ‘’bye mom, love you too’’ I told her before I hung up and headed back to the booth and slipped back inside as Tommy turned and smiled._   
_‘’Everything okay’’ He asked and I nodded,_   
_‘’Yeah, just my mom asking if I was going around hers for dinner tonight’’ I told him as he nodded but quickly frowned, the look not right on his face,_   
_‘’you don’t live with your parents?’’ He asked and I shook my head,_   
_‘’Mom, parents are divorced but no, I got my own apartment’’ I told him as he nodded, ‘’anyway did my ice cream taste nice?’’ I asked as he stared at me wide eyed and I laughed before picking my spoon up with some on and held it out to him, my hand underneath to catch any drips as he stared between the spoon and me._   
_‘’What the hell’’ He grinned as he leaned forward and took it before sitting back again with a smile, ’’that shits tasty dude’’ He told me and I laughed as I nodded,_   
_‘’that’s why I got this flavor’’ I grinned at him._   
_‘’Its good, beats mine’’ He spoke out as his eyes glanced down again, grinning, I spooned some more up and held it out to him again, his eyes meeting mine before he leaned closer and wrapped his lips around it before pulling back slowly, a small groan of pleasure leaving his throat as he sat back and let his eyes close._   
_Swallowing slightly, I looked out the window and away from him, watching the traffic, I frowned slightly as I noticed a few of the cars flash their windscreen wipers before large raindrops stared to hit against the diner windows._   
_‘’Oh fuck’’ Turing back to face Tommy, I noticed him looking out the windows himself before he turned back and laughed slightly, ‘’we are going to get soaked’’ Looking down at my jacket and then his before I let a laugh escape and nodded in agreement._   
_‘’Think you can run?’’ I asked,_   
_‘’Yeah, why?’’_   
_‘’My apartment is pretty close, we can wait the storm out there unless you want to stay here’’ I told him and he glanced around and outside again, lips perused before he nodded,_   
_‘’Yours, wont have to buy then’’ He grinned, laughing softly as we gathered our things and headed towards the diner doors._   
_‘’You ready’’ I asked him as I pulled the door open for him and he nodded, ‘’Then lets go’’ I grinned._

.oΩo.

‘’Excuse me son’’ Stirring, I turned and rubbed at my eyes to see a doctor crouched beside the chairs I was laid out on still in the waiting room, ‘’I understand you are Tommy Ratliff’s boyfriend?’’ He asked and I nodded slightly before I pushed myself up and ran my hands through my air,  
‘’How is he?’’ I asked tiredly as he smiled slightly,  
‘’Stable and resting, I understand a nurse has been around with different forms for you to fill out until we can get a hold of his parents?’’ He asked and I nodded  
‘’Yeah, I filled them out and handed them back, can I go and see him?’’ I asked as the doctor nodded,  
‘’Of course you can now, he is still asleep and will be for a while from the surgeries, once in the ICU you will have to watch where you go in his room because of machines and equipment’’ The doctor told me as I nodded and swallowed slightly, ‘’I’ll wait outside’’ He told me as he glanced across to where Brad was asleep in the chairs.  
‘’Thank you’’ I told him softly before watching as  he stood and walked out the room, taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes for a while before I opened them again and stood, walking over to him, I gently shook his shoulder until his eyes blinked open. ‘’Brad’’ I whispered as he looked up at me,  ‘’the doctor told me that I can go and see Tommy, just wanted to let you know so you didn’t wake up to me gone’’ I told him quietly as he nodded.  
‘’Go see your boy Adam, I will be right here sleeping still’’ He chuckled out as I smiled softly and pressed a kiss to the top of his head and pulled, draping his jacket up over him a little more, I turned and headed out the waiting room and stepped out in to the semi busy hallway where I noticed the doctor who had woke me up talking to a nurse.  
‘’This way son’’ The doctor spoke out as he signed the forms the nurse handed him and motioned for me to follow him, heading through hallways quietly, I swallowed to myself and pushed my hands in to my pockets before pulling them out again as he paused at a set of doors and punched a code in to the door.

Stepping through, the sound of quiet met my ears, the space slowly being filled with slight voices every so often as I followed him down another hallway and around in to another before he paused at one of the rooms.  
‘’I have to remind you son…’’ He started saying as I shook my head,  
‘’Adam, call me Adam’’ I told him as he smiled and nodded,  
‘’Alright Adam, you have to remember, Tommy has been through a major surgery today, he is still in critical condition, the next 28 hours will be tensed and he will be checked on every half an hour by a nurse’’ He told me as I nodded, ‘’you can touch him, but try not to knock any wires which is connecting to his body and machines’’ Nodding to him, I reached up and rubbed my arm slightly before I glanced towards the room, ‘’I don’t normally say this to people because it tends to get their hopes up, but from what I have seen, he is going to pull through, Tommy is strong’’ The doctor told me as he lightly touched my elbow and I gave him a small smile.  
‘’Thank you’’ I whispered as he nodded and walked away, taking a deep breath, I slowly pressed the handle of the door down before opening it with a soft click, stepping inside, I kept my eyes on the floor as I pushed it closed again before my eyes slowly raised up and I felt my heart crash against my chest as I took in all the machines around Tommy’s body, the thin sheets over his legs, coming to a stop just under his stomach where it was covered in bandages, walking closer to the bed slowly, I stepped around it as I kept my eyes on his face, his skin still pale as I tore my eyes away from him at last and carefully pulled the small chair over closer as I sat down and wiped at my eyes angrily.  ‘’why Tommy? Why did you have to do something stupid like that?’’ I whispered out as I stared at him, the only response was the beeping of the heart monitor beside me.

Sat in the chair, I pulled my feet up and curled my arms around my knees as I stared at Tommy’s form, his chest rising and falling slowly with each bleep of a machine as my eyes filled with more tears again and I quickly unwrapped myself and moved closer again, my hand sliding in to his careful of all the wires.  
‘’You should’ve just left them alone baby, should never of gone over and stood between the three of them’’ I whispered out as I carefully smoothed my thumb out over his hand. ‘’I told you to drop it and just walk away, why didn’t you listen to me Tommy, we had plans remember’’ I whispered to him, ‘’we were going to go back to yours remember and relax for a few hours before going to my moms’’ I choked out slightly as I rubbed my eyes against my shoulder and quickly sat back, my hand leaving his as the door opened and a nurse stepped inside with a clipboard.  
‘’Oh, im sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was in here’’ She spoke out as her eyes raised and met mine,  
‘’Its okay’’ I whispered to her as I wiped my eyes again and turned back to stare at Tommy, my feet moving back up on to the chair again as I breathed out.  
‘’Are you family?’’ The nurse asked, her voice low and soft as I glanced back up at her to see her checking the machines and writing things down on the clipboard as I shook my head,  
‘’No, im his boyfriend’’ I told her softly as I sniffed a little,  
‘’Getting the phone call must have been hard then’’ She asked and I glanced over before I shook my head,  
‘’I was with him when it happened, he tried to stop two guys from beating someone up’’ I told her as fresh tears filled my eyes again as I stared at Tommy’s pale face, ‘’I told him just to leave it, to walk away, we were meant to be having dinner with my mom and brother tonight’’ I spoke out.  
‘’Sweetheart, don’t blame yourself, he was trying to help someone else to not get hurt’’ The nurse spoke out sweetly as she walked around and softly touched my shoulder. ‘’your boyfriend is a fighter, all his vitals are on the high and I wouldn’t be surprised if he wakes up in the next day or two’’ She told me and I nodded softly before she quietly left.

Leaving Tommy’s room a few hours later, I brushed my eyes clear of sleep as I walked back down the hall and through the doors of the unit in to the main hospital ward and headed back to the waiting room.  
‘’Oh honey, I came as soon as I heard’’ Looking up as I stepped in to the waiting room again, I noticed my mom stood next to Brad before she moved and quickly engulfed me in a tight hug which I returned,  
‘’He’s going to be okay, the doctors say that he is strong, he made it through the first surgery with no problems, just got to wait for him to be stronger again before they can remove the bullets’’ I told her quietly before I pulled away, ‘’I just came from his room now’’  
‘’Have they gotten a hold of his parents?’’ Mom asked and I shook my head slightly,  
‘’No luck so far, but I have his sisters phone number somewhere back in the apartment I remember him given it to me one night’’ I told her as she nodded and let her fingers run through my hair before her thumb traced under my eyes.  
‘’I can go around and find it for you’’ She told me and I nodded.  
‘’I think it’s in a note book, Tommy’s black one…it...Umm, it should be next to the bed’’ I told her as she nodded softly, ‘’if not try the, umm…’’ I trailed off slightly as I rubbed at my eyes as I tried to think,  
‘’don’t worry sweetie, I will find it for you, do you want me to give her a ring too?’’ She asked and I shook my head slightly,  
‘’No I will, I’ve spoken to her before’’ I told her as she nodded and smiled softly.  
‘’I’ll be back in an hour or two’’ Mom told me as I hugged her again and waited for her to leave before I walked over and dropped down on to the seats next to Brad who reached over and grabbed my hand.  
‘’Get some sleep gorgeous’’ Brad told me, ‘’That boy will need you to be strong too’’ He smiled before pulling me down, bringing my legs up on to the chairs as I rested my head in his lap, I let a deep breath out as he smoothed his fingers through my hair, a soft hum on his lips as I closed my eyes and sleep quickly came for me.


	5. You were mine,  in the back of my mind, oh for just one night, just for a while

 

 

_ _

 

_Crashing against the door in laughter as Tommy shoved me, I dug my numb fingers in to my bag in search of my keys as the rain fell heavily around us still._   
_‘’Come on Lambert, get that door opened’’ Glancing up, I felt my breath catch slightly as I stared at him, the way his blonde hair was stuck to the side of his face, brown eyes bright as I turned back and swallowed slightly as I pulled my keys out and quickly unlocked the door._   
_Pushing it open, I stepped inside and out the rain as quick as I could before I felt Tommy’s body press up against my back, the sound of the door closing quietly as I jumped and dropped my bag down and shivered slightly before I tugged my jacket off and dropped it down on to one of the coat hooks._   
_‘’I got spare clothes if you want to change’’ I started to say as I turned around and gasped slightly, Tommy was already stripping out of his wet clothes, tops being tugged off his head as his bare torso shined with rain water in the dim lights._   
_‘’See something you like Adam?’’ Tommy asked as I quickly moved my eyes back to his face to see him smirking as I blushed and turned, feet leading me towards my bedroom as I started to tug my own shirt off and dropped it down in to my wash pile as I crossed the large space and headed to my dresser._

_‘’These might fit you, may be a little baggy but yeah’’ I called out as I heard Tommy’s footsteps move closer to my room before I turned and swallowed deeply, looking towards him as he leaned against the doorframe in nothing but his boxers which was starting to cling to his body too, I tore my eyes back to his face to see him staring at me, a look of wonder caught over his features as he pushed away and walked closer to me._   
_‘’Thanks’’ He whispered with a smile as he took the clothes from my hands and headed over to my bed where he dropped down on to it and stretched out slightly. Breathing deeply to myself, I turned back around and dug through for my own clothes before pulling them out, I turned to see Tommy still sat in his boxers staring at me before he looked away and started to pull the sweat pants on._   
_‘’There’s towels in the bathroom if you want one’’ I informed him before putting my clothes on the unit and headed in to the bathroom myself and picked one up, dropping it over my hair, I started to dry it before I stepped back in to the bedroom and quickly felt warm hands against my chest as I looked up and moved the towel away to see Tommy._   
_‘’Nearly walked in to me big guy’’ He told me and I nodded as I kept my eyes on his face as his hands stayed against my chest before slowly sliding down. ‘’you still don’t believe me when I say that you turn peoples head do you?’’ He asked and I breathed out slightly._   
_‘’Tommy no one notices me okay, im one of the geeky kids who do theatre and sings, no one notices me anywhere I go and I certainly don’t turn peoples head when I walk past’’ I told him, a small tug to the corner of his lips were all I got before he stepped closer and pushed me back against the tiled wall, the coldness making me arch away slightly before I pulled back with a blush as I realized how my hips brushed up against his._   
_‘’Listen Adam, you are hot, you turn people’s heads and when you sing you sound out of this world, I’ve seen people stop what they are doing to look towards you when you laugh, if I can see that in the short amount of time of being here then you should surly see it yourself’’ He told me as his hands slipped down to press against my stomach before he pulled the towel from my hand and used it to wipe his chest and stomach dry._   
_‘’You’re wrong Tommy, all I see in people’s faces when I look at them is disgust and if they ever found out that im gay that will just make it worse’’ I told him before I shut my mouth as I blushed slightly, it was the first time I had openly admitted that I was gay, even though Tommy had figured it out for himself, I had never said it to anyone other than my family and Brad._   
_‘’Believe me or not Adam, I’ve heard people talking about you, talking about how they would date you or even sleep with you’’ Tommy gasped out to me and I shook my head._   
_‘’I don’t care, I don’t want some meaningless sex or fondle with anyone’’ I bit back._   
_‘’And what do you want?’’ He asked,_   
_‘’Love Tommy, that’s what I want’’ I told him as I pushed my way past slightly and walked back in to my bedroom where I grabbed my sweat pants and pulled them on._   
_‘’Love doesn’t exist though Adam, so why look for it?’’ Spinning around to face Tommy, I sighed before grabbing my top._   
_‘’You may not want to fall in love Tommy for what ever reason you have, but others do and I just happen to be one of them, who cares if I want to love, just because im gay doesn’t mean I can’t have what any straight couple gets’’ I told him as I tugged my top over my head roughly and went to turn before I felt fingers grab my wrist and turn me back before lips crashed against mine and I found myself kissing him back angrily as hands clawed at each other’s clothes, looking for something to hold on to._

_Two hours later, I found myself staring across the bed at Tommy’s sleeping form, the covers wrapped around both of our waists as I turned over on to my side and watched him closer, his arms were tucked under the pillow as his hair fell down over his closed eyes before I reached out and carefully tucked it up behind his ear before letting my  fingertips stroke over the soft skin of his cheek.  
I couldn’t lie to myself when I thought that he was beautiful because he was, even asleep he held a strange sense of mystery, pulling my arm back as he shifted slightly in his sleep, I watched as his face pulled in to a frown before escaping again as he turned his head over on the pillow and let a soft sigh out before he fell silent again. Letting my hand slide down his back lightly before resting against his lower back, I moved closer and pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder before I turned and climbed out of bed, picking my boxers and sweatpants up again, I slipped back in to them before sitting on the edge of the bed and ran my fingers through my hair._

_Taking a deep breath, I wiped away tears which quickly fell before I stood and headed out the room and through my apartment until I stepped in to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, leaning against the counter, I took a few mouthfuls before I let myself slide down the cupboards and sat on the floor, even after saying that I had wanted to find love and not have meaningless sex with anyone, me and Tommy had ended up in bed together before we both fell asleep in the afterglow of sex.  
I wasn’t sure what hurt the most…knowing that Tommy didn’t want to fall in love or that my heart was already in his hands from the first ever conversation which we had in the school cafeteria the week before. I didn’t know how to react knowing that we had done something that we couldn’t take back, even if we never spoke about it again and acted like it never happened, it had and that’s the reality I had to face as I slowly pushed myself to my feet and tipped the rest of the water away before I turned back and headed back to the bedroom where I rested against the doorframe to see that Tommy was still asleep but had flipped over on to his back, a hand covering his stomach and longer fingers resting over the covers on his waist._

_Sighing softly, I walked back across to the bed and slipped out of my pants I wore before I carefully climbed back in to bed and faced towards him, no matter how much I wanted to hate him for what we had done, I couldn’t help but be glad at the same time to have something no one else did. And if I could have the one night where I could act like he was mine, I was going to take it for as long as I could._   
_‘’Can hear your brain turning, stop it’’ Tommy grumbled out as he moved his hands up above his head and stretched, his back arching up and covers sliding lower until they were only just covering him._   
_‘’Sorry, did I wake you?’’ I asked as he flopped back again and opened brown eyes to look towards me, his face pulling in to a frown before he pulled the covers up more and moved up on to an elbow to face me._   
_‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked and I shrugged slightly as I glanced down before back up to him._   
_‘’Kind of confused but im okay’’ I told him honestly as he nodded and moved his hand up to brush my hair away from my eyes before he leaned closer and brushed his lips over mine again lightly, the kiss less heated and softer than before when it had been hard and full of teeth. Pulling away slowly, I let my eyes meet his as he smiled and moved to push me back before he moved and straddled my waist, hands brushing over my chest before he leaned down and let his lips trace over my jaw until he reached my ear._   
_‘’Just let yourself be free for once’’ Tommy whispered before tugging my earlobe with his teeth before he moved again and cuddled in to my side, his head resting over my chest as his arm curled around my waist, my own arm wrapping around his shoulders._   
_‘’Never thought you would’ve been a cuddlier’’ I told him softly as I felt his warm breath against my bare chest as he laughed before shrugging._   
_‘’People don’t take me for a lot of things Adam’’ He told me as I squeezed him softly and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, ‘’im sorry for pressing you for what we done together, I can’t help but fight for what I believe in’’ Tommy told me, his fingers smoothing over my stomach as I stared down at the mop of blonde hair on my chest with a frown as I tried to figure out what he had meant by his words._

.oΩo.

Waking up alone, I stretched slightly before glancing around the waiting room to see it empty before I pushed myself to my feet and rubbed the back of my head slightly before I headed out of the room and out in to the hallway to see mom and Brad stood talking to someone before they noticed me,  
‘’Adam, you’re awake’’ Mom spoke out as she stepped around them and moved towards me quickly.  
‘’What’s happened’’ I asked as I looked from her to Brad before back again.  
‘’Nothing sweetie, don’t worry, if something happened with Tommy, we would’ve woken you up, don’t panic’’ Brad spoke out as he walked over and hugged me tightly.  
‘’By the time I got back, you were still sleeping so I gave the number to the doctors and they called his sister’’ Mom told me and I stared at her as I pulled away from Brad.  
‘’Why, I said I would, you should’ve woke me up mom’’  
‘’Honey you needed to sleep, since being here you’ve done nothing but pace and you haven’t even eating since god knows when’’ Brad spoke out again as I shook my head.  
‘’I ate this morning, Tommy made me eat breakfast’’ I whispered out, ‘’is his sister coming?’’ I asked mom before she sighed and shook her head slightly.  
‘’I don’t know baby, the doctors hasn’t said anything else to us’’ Nodding I breathed out as I turned and leaned against the wall and looked around the hallway at other doctors walking around, talking to each other and fillings forms out or talking to patients and family members of their loved ones.  
‘’Im going back to Tommy’’ I muttered out before stepping away from the wall and headed back down the halls again.

Watching Tommy’s form, I let a deep breath out as I ran my hand through my hair and rested against the side of the chair, there was a little bit more color in his cheeks and it made me smile knowing that he was doing strong and that nothing bad could happen.  
Think about all the time we had spent together, I had always regretted not telling him that I had loved him, I didn’t care if he didn’t want to fall in love or anything but I had with him and I wanted him to know that.  
‘’I hope your sister turns up Tommy, I don’t know what else I have to do and it scares me seeing you like this’’ I spoke out to him before I chuckled softly and slouched in the chair. ‘’its stupid really, isn’t it, how everything on earth can just change in the matter of a few seconds and the people you love the most are the ones who get hurt, but in saying that it was your fault too Tommy, I told you not to get involved but you went and got yourself stuck in the middle didn’t you, you can’t be a hero to everyone, you might of helped me out in school but you can’t go saving everyone baby, you just can’t…I wont let you get hurt again’’ I whispered out before I sighed deeply and looked over towards the monitors where his heart rate was, it had lowered back down to normal and I couldn’t help but follow the lines of it as it moved before I let my eyes close in the almost quiet room.

 

Stirring softly from where I had fallen asleep, I rubbed at my eyes before jumping as I heard movement and quickly turned towards the bed to see someone stood next, their hand moving over Tommy’s cheek before brushing his hair back. Sitting up a little fully as she turned, her lips pulling to a smile as she softly stood back up again.  
‘’You must be Adam’’ She asked and I nodded slightly, ‘’im Lisa, Tommy’s sister, we’ve talked on the phone a few times’’ Nodding slightly, I stood and walked around the bed and hugged her tightly as she chuckled and returned it.  
‘’Im sorry’’ I whispered before she pushed me back a little to stare at me,  
‘’Don’t be silly Adam, it isn’t your fault’’ She told me and I shook my head,  
‘’It is, I should’ve tried harder to stop him from getting in between’’ I whispered as she sighed softly and shook her head,  
‘’It’s what Tommy does best sweetie, all his life he has always been the one looking after people, he used to beat up the guys who tried hurting me, doing the whole big brother routine even though he is younger than me. So don’t blame yourself please’’ She told me and I glanced over at Tommy before back again with a small nod.  
‘’I wanted to call you myself to tell you what happened, but I was asleep when mom brought Tommy’s notebook back with it in and she gave your number to the doctors instead of waking me up’’ I told her as she smiled.  
‘’Its fine honey, I hear from your friend and mother that you needed some sleep, that you’ve been here since he was brought in this morning?’’ She asked and I nodded softly with a small blush.  
‘’I didn’t want him to be alone’’ I told her as she smiled,  
‘’He’s found a good guy in you Adam’’ She told me and I blushed softly again before shaking my head.  
‘’We aren’t actually dating’’ I told her as I moved and carefully sat on the edge of the bed and watched Tommy’s still face.  
‘’But I thought you were, Tommy says you are always going places together and having fun’’ She asked and I shrugged softly before I moved my hand up to cover his again.  
‘’I wont lie, Im in love with your brother but he doesn’t want to fall in love, he told me that the very first we ever met and keeps telling me’’ I shrugged out as my thumb moved over his soft skin, ‘’told me that love is for the foolish and stupid’’  
‘’Don’t listen to him Adam, Tommy has always refused to believe in love ever since our parents passed away’’ She told me and I turned to stare at her with wide eyes before she froze slightly, ‘’he didn’t tell you?’’ She asked and I shook my head.  
‘’No, just said that he lived with you before he got kicked out and that you helped him find an apartment here with Mia’’ I told her as she frowned and glanced towards her brother.  
‘’I think that’s something you should talk to him about together, not something for me to talk to you’’ Lisa said softly as I nodded. ‘’have you eaten recently’’ She asked and I shrugged softly  
‘’Not since Tommy cooked breakfast this morning’’ I told her honestly as she nodded and tapped my arm,  
‘’Come on, lets go eat, im sure Tommy has had a go at you for not eating before right?’’ Lisa asked and I chuckled softly and nodded,  
‘’He sure has, refused to leave the house until I had something decent to eat’’ I laughed softly as I smiled over at her.  
‘’That’s our Tommy, he cares and if he has bitten at you for not eating then he really cares about you and would want you to eat’’ Lisa told me as I sighed and nodded.  
‘’I know’’ I breathed out before I stood and leant over softly and pressed a kiss to his cheek,  
‘’Good, I heard the hospital café doesn’t awesome coco’’ Lisa told me and I laughed softly as I followed her out the room.


	6. Like air to the fire, I need you to breathe

_‘’No I don’t mean that, come on guys give me a break’’ Brad whined out as we sat around the table eating lunch,_   
_‘’You brought it on yourself’’ I told him before the chair beside me moved and we all turned to see Tommy sitting down with us, a small smile forming over his lips before he shrugged._   
_‘’Hope you don’t mind’’ He spoke out,_   
_‘’Sure don’t,’’ Brad grinned out,_   
_‘’Good, don’t worry you can act like im not here or anything if you want’’ Tommy spoke out as I turned back to look down at my lunch, shifting my salad around slightly with my fork, I let a small breath out before I felt a hand sliding on to my thigh, jumping, I groaned quickly as I felt my knee come in to contact with the underside of the table, the impact creating a loud bang to get people looking at me as I blushed._   
_‘’Sorry’’ I muttered out as I glanced up to see them staring at me,_   
_‘’Are you okay honey, you’ve seemed a little out of it all day’’ One of the girls asked before I shrugged,_   
_‘’Im fine’’ I told her with a soft smile which she returned before they fell back in to their conversations again and I felt Tommy squeeze my thigh slightly._   
_Moving my hand under the table slightly, I grabbed his hand and pushed it away before I laid my own back on the table again as I went back to eating my lunch before I pushed it away._   
_‘’Im not going to act like it didn’t happen Adam’’ Tommy whispered to me and I glanced up before I turned to look at him._   
_‘’Well maybe you should because it shouldn’t of happened’’ I whispered back harshly before I turned back again and grabbed books which was on the table and pulled them closer to me again as I let my fingers skip to the pages I had been on and opened them again just for them to be pushed closed again by long fingers._

_‘’What is wrong with you?’’ I asked him as I turned to stare at brown eyes which seemed to twinkle in the over head lights._   
_‘’We need to talk about it Adam’’ He told me and I laughed slightly._   
_‘’There’s nothing to talk about, in my mind nothing happened okay’’ I told him as I grabbed my books and bag and quickly left the table and headed out of the cafeteria, the feeling of eyes on me making me swallow slightly before I passed through the hallways and reached my locker. Pulling it open, I started to push my books inside before the feeling of fingers rubbing over the back of my neck had me sighing before I turned to glare towards Tommy as he moved and leaned back against the lockers again._   
_‘’You don’t believe that really, do you’’ He spoke out, eyes on his hands as he picked at his nail polish as I glanced back again._   
_‘’Like I said, you should just forget about it, I have’’ I told him as I turned back to shove the rest of my books in to the locker, the ones I needed for afternoon class getting shoved in to my back._   
_‘’It was just sex Adam, it happens’’ Tommy gasped out as I spun around to face him,_   
_‘’And I told you, I don’t do meaningless sex’’ I whispered out to him harshly before I turned back and slammed my locker closed before I started to walk away, my feet leading me towards the bathrooms as I heard Tommy follow._   
_‘’So what was that if you don’t then Adam, because im pretty sure what happened between us was called sex’’ Tommy spoke out as he slammed the door shut, ‘’no matter how much you try and think that it didn’t happen, it happened and we can’t change the fact that we fucked okay’’_   
_‘’You kissed me first’’ I gasped out as he laughed bitterly,_   
_‘’Oh so because I kissed you it led to sex, you could’ve pushed me away Adam but you didn’t did you’’ He yelled back at me as I dropped my bag down on the floor._   
_‘’You pissed me off okay, I wanted to hurt you, I wanted to make you feel pain that you would leave me alone and stay out my life, but I couldn’t okay, no matter how much I hated you at that moment’’ I yelled back, the sound of defeat clear in my voice as he stepped closer to me._   
_‘’Hit me’’ Tommy spoke out and I stared at him confused,_   
_‘’what’’_   
_‘’I said hit me Adam, you wanted to hurt me, I pissed you off, we fucked when you want to find love so hit me’’ He told me as I shook my head and stepped back._   
_‘’You’re crazy Tommy’’ I told him as a small grin fell over his lips._   
_‘’It’s better than being yelled at for something I don’t regret happening’’ He told me as I sighed._   
_‘’There you go again, just forget it Tommy okay, it happened, its never going to happen again…we…we just aren’t right to be anywhere near each other…Tommy…stop…are you even listening to me?’’ I asked as he kept walking towards me, the feeling of the sinks catching against my back stopping me from going anywhere else as he crowded in to my space._

_Feeling his hands on my waist, I breathed out slightly and looked at him as he smiled softly at me._   
_‘’Tell me Adam really, tell me that you regret sleeping with me, tell me the thought of wanting to touch me didn’t run through your mind when we first got back to your apartment and out of the rain because the look in your eyes told me differently Adam, tell me’’ He spoke out as I swallowed slightly, my eyes dancing over his before I looked away and let the drop a little to stare at Tommy’s shirt which was peering out from under the leather jacket which he was wearing. ‘’you can’t can you?’’ He asked before I felt a hand against my jaw and I moved my eyes back up to his softly._   
_‘’Why are you doing this Tommy’’ I asked quietly as a warm smile tilted his lips up._   
_‘’Because you’re gorgeous Adam, anyone would want to have you and I was a lucky guy to actually be with you last weekend’’ Tommy told me softly as his thumb brushed my cheek, ‘’I want to get you seeing what everyone else does when they look at you, you’re not a freak or a disgrace, your kind and wonderful, you look after people and make others laugh when they are upset. I may not of been here for long but I can see that in your heart baby, in your mind you have created this image of yourself which isn’t true’’ He whispered to me._   
_‘’Stop it please’’ I whispered to him as he shook his head._   
_‘’Adam please believe me, any guy who falls in love with you would be lucky to have such a caring person in their lives okay’’ Tommy whispered before he leaned up and lightly brushed his lips over mine. ‘’just let yourself be free for a while Adam, let all that carefulness vanish and just live’’ He whispered, swallowing softly, I let my arms wrap around his waist as his mouth pressed back against mine again. Kissing him softly, I couldn’t help but trail a hand up to the back of his neck and let my fingers slide through his hair gently before I felt Tommy nip at my lower lip, parting them slightly, I let him deepen the kiss before we both broke away as the sound of the bell made us jump slightly, blushing softly as I felt his hand run down my chest and rest against my stomach again, I looked up at him and returned his soft kiss before he pulled away with a smile._   
_‘’Come home with me tonight’’ I whispered to him before I could think about the words I was saying,_   
_‘’you know what will happen if I do’’ He told me as I nodded softly._   
_‘’I know’’ I whispered to him as he pressed a light kiss to the corner of my lips._   
_‘’Im not going home with you Adam, you want love, I don’t’’ Tommy whispered as he stepped backwards, a small smile on his face before he turned and headed out of the bathrooms._

_‘’Fag’’ Looking up, I glanced towards one of the guys who was sat a few desks away from me in the last lesson, his eyes looking towards me before he turned away and I frowned slightly and looked back down at my work as I finished the questions off just as the bell rang for the end of the day._   
_Packing everything up, I headed out of the classroom and worked my way through the hallways again until I reached my locker and started to undo it before I felt someone shove in to me._   
_‘’Watch where you are going queer’’ Turning to look at them, I swallowed slightly as a few people glanced towards me and the other male before he stood, ‘’what is there something you want to say to me fag’’ He sneered out before I turned my back and went back to my locker as I pulled it open and started to move my books in to my bag and some back in, ‘’hey I was talking to you faggot’’ He spoke out a little louder before I felt myself being shoved again._   
_‘’What is your problem dude?’’ Turning as I heard Tommy’s voice, I froze slightly before I closed my locker door,_   
_‘’What’s it to do with you’’ The other guy spoke out as he got closer and turned his attention back to me again, ‘’its  between me and this queer here’’ He laughed before I noticed Tommy move closer and grab the back of the guys shirt and pull him away,_   
_‘’It has everything to do with me when you insult my friends’’ He told the other guy who just laughed in his face, freezing slightly as I saw Tommy’s hands fist up, I pushed forward and grabbed his wrist as I stared at him._   
_‘’Don’t Tommy, he isn’t worth it’’ I told him before brown eyes glanced towards me._   
_‘’Yeah Tommy listen to the faggot boyfriend of yours’’ The guy spoke out, gritting my teeth slightly, I let Tommy’s wrist go before turning, my fist connecting with the guys jaw as Tommy let him go._   
_‘’Well so much for him not being worth it Adam’’ Tommy laughed as I stared down at the guy._   
_‘’Well had to do something so you wouldn’t’’ I told him as I pulled my eyes away and shrugged slightly, ‘’guess even gay guys know how to throw a punch’’ I muttered out to him as he grinned._   
_‘’Come, let’s get some ice on those knuckles’’ Tommy told me before he pushed me through the small crowd which had gathered and towards the nurse’s station._

_‘’You know, you just outted yourself’’ Tommy told me softly as he moved the ice pack over my knuckles, his voice quiet as I moved my eyes to his face, his eyes down casted and a frown on his face as I shrugged,_   
_‘’Better than to be called names and try to denia it all the time’’ I told him, his eyes moving up to my face again before down again,_   
_‘’You didn’t have to though, I feel like its my fault in a way’’ Tommy told me as he moved his hand under mine, his palm fault against mine as his rough fingertips stroked lightly over my wrist,_   
_‘’It isn’t your fault’’ I told him as he shook his head,_   
_‘’I was the one who pushed you in to talking about us and then yelled at you in the bathrooms before the door as closed’’ He sighed before I moved my other hand up to his jaw and tilted it up._   
_‘’It isn’t your fault okay Tommy, it was bound to happen sooner or later okay’’ I told him before I leaned closer and softly pressed my lips over his cheek. ‘’don’t blame yourself’’ I whispered._

.oΩo.

‘’Dr James to ICU’’ Looking up from the drinks I was sharing with Tommy’s sister, I breathed out softly and glanced towards her as she put her drink down again, ‘’Dr James to ICU room 183’’ The voice over the speakers spoke and I felt myself freeze slightly.  
‘’That’s Tommy’s room’’ I whispered out before I pushed away from the table and headed out of the small hospital café quickly, Lisa behind me as I moved towards the stairs instead of elevator.

Heading through different hallways until I skidded around the corner, I noticed mom and Brad outside the waiting room, their expressions neutral as I moved towards them.  
‘’What’s going on? Why is the doctor being called to his room?’’ I asked out of breath slightly I ran closer to them,  
‘’We don’t know honey, they wont tell us anything’’ Brad told me as I shook my head slightly, turning, I ignored their voices calling my name and to get me to stop, I headed back through the hallways and to the ICU unit until I got closer to Tommy’s room as they started to wheel him out.  
‘’Son, we need you to stay back’’ The doctor told me as he moved around the others and started to check different things.  
‘’What’s going on, you told me he was going to be fine that Tommy was strong’’ I called out before I tried to follow, feeling arms move around me, I glanced back at Lisa as my vision started to fill with tears again.  
‘’Adam, calm down, they are doing their job’’ She told me softly before I shook my head and shrugged out of her hold, moving to follow, I looked up as the doctor softly pushed me back, my eyes watching as he disappeared with other doctors.  
‘’You lied to me, you fucking lied and said he was going to be fine’’ I yelled out at him before I felt Lisa’s arms around me again, holding me against her as I felt the tears break.  
‘’I told you that the next 28 hours was going to be critical, Tommy was getting stronger but one of the bullets has dislodged on its own’’ The doctor explained as felt Lisa tighten her arms around me.  
‘’What does that mean?’’ She asked,  
‘’The bullet has caused internal bleeding, although we don’t really want to operate on him while he’s still weak, if we don’t do the surgery now, there’s a chance that he could bleed out, this is the only option we have to save his life’’ He spoke out as his name was called out again, ‘’im sorry, I have to go’’ He spoke out before I heard his footsteps move away quickly.

Hugging in to Lisa tighter as I felt more tears fall, I choked on them slightly as her fingers moved through my hair.  
‘’He can’t die’’ I whispered out as she held me tighter. ‘’he can’t die, I need to tell him I love him’’ I cried out as she cooed softly in my ear.  
‘’It’s okay Adam, Tommy will be okay, im sure of it’’ She whispered back, ‘’come on lets go back to the family room to wait, we will just be in the way if we wait here’’ She told me softly before her body turned slightly, wiping at my eyes slightly, I kept myself buried into her side as we walked back.  
‘’Baby’’ Looking up as we walked inside the room, I moved from Lisa’s arms and moved over to moms before I buried in to her neck softly as I felt hands rub over my back.  
‘’I can’t lose him mom, I just can’t, I love him too much, I don’t want to live if he dies’’ I whispered out to her on broken cries before I felt myself get pulled over somewhere and sat down, my body still turned in to hers as she soother her fingers through my hair.  
‘’Hush now my baby, no more talk like that Adam’’ Mom whispered to me before she moved away and rubbed her thumbs under my eyes softly, ‘’get some more rest baby, you’re tired and emotions are all over the place’’ She hushed out before tutting as I shook my head, ‘’Adam, you need to be strong for Tommy too, you often tell me how he makes sure you sleep, and im sure he would want you to get more rest now too’’ She told me.  
‘’We wont let anything go past without you knowing Adam’’ Lisa spoke out as she walked over and sat down near us as I nodded slowly, moving to lay down between them, I let my head rest on mom’s lap while Lisa pulled my legs across her lap softly. Letting my eyes close, I let the feeling of mom’s fingers running through my hair slowly lure me to sleep as the low sound of a TV in the background slowly faded away with everything else in the room.

 

‘’I knew Tommy was seeing someone, but he never said who’’ A girl’s voice whispered out in the room, the feeling of fingers rubbing over my legs softly making me slowly drift in and out of sleep, parts of conversations seeping through my hearing every so often before it went away again.  
‘’We still haven’t heard anything’’ Lisa’s voice whispered out as I felt her palm press flat against my leg before she sighed and yawned softly,  
‘’When did you sleep last yourself?’’ The female voice spoke out quietly again,  
‘’God I don’t know, as soon as I got the phone call I left work and got the first flight here, im so worried Mia, I know Tommy sticks up for people who he thinks are too weak to defend themselves but he’s never put himself in danger like this before, I have no idea how it must have been for Adam being there and hearing the shots.’’ She whispered back with a small sigh, ‘’the cops turned up a few hours ago asking if Tommy was awake and alert enough for questions before I told him that he was in surgery again, but they said that they got the three guys who done it from the cameras around the place and a statement from the guy Tommy stuck up for, they wanted me to wake  Adam up just so they could talk to them, I might of lied and said that he had only just gotten to sleep after refusing for so long, they brought the story for now’’ Lisa said again as her fingers went back to smoothing over my leg again.  
‘’A few hours, how long has it been since he went back in?’’  
‘’God Mia, it feels like forever, it must have been about six maybe seven hours ago now’’ Lisa whispered back before I moved slightly and let a arm move up under my head before I settled again, feeling something get moved up over me again, I let a small breath out as I let everything around me fade away again.

Waking up slowly again, I brought a hand up and lightly rubbed at my eyes before I blinked them open and turned softly to see that the room around me was empty, sitting up quickly, I rubbed my hand over my face before moving the jacket away from my body.  
Standing, I stretched before moving towards the windows and stared out at the dark city which was slowly starting to brighten in the distance again before I turned and walked towards the door of the family room, heading out, I looked around the mainly empty hallway before heading towards the bathrooms and inside and over to one of the urinals, using it quickly, I moved back to the sinks and washed my hands as I stared at my reflection, my hair was flat slightly from where I had been sleeping and all traces of makeup was gone again and I knew that it was probably from all the crying which I had done since Tommy had first got shot.  
Heading out, I checked the family room again to see that it was still empty and I was confused slightly to where Lisa and the other girl was before I headed through the hallways until I reached the main doors and I walked out in to the chilly air.

Taking a small walk around the grounds, I headed back inside and rubbed at my arms slightly before I glanced towards the large clock to see that it was a little after 5am, breathing out slightly, I headed through to the café and brought a small coffee and headed towards the elevators where someone else was waiting, the button already pressed before I sipped at the hot drink in my hands, the liquid burning my tongue slightly as the soft ding echoed as silver doors opened. Stepping inside, I moved towards the back and watched as the other person pressed a floor, leaning back against the wall, I let my eyes drop again as I brought a hand up and rubbed the back of my neck softly, the muscles stiff a little from how I had slept before I wondered where mom and Brad had gone.  
Glancing up as the doors opened again, I watched as the person got off, sighing I pushed away from the wall and pressed for Tommy’s floor and moved to rest against a wall again as the doors slowly slipped closed again, leaving me to the silence of my thoughts before I got off and started to walk back to the family room again.

‘’Adam’’ Looking up as I pushed the door open, I let a small breath out as I realized Lisa was back and offered a small smile before I closed the door behind me again, ‘’we wondered where you had gone, we came back and you weren’t here’’ She spoke out before I glanced towards the other girl who was also sat down.  
‘’Yeah…sorry’’ I breathed out, ‘’I…I woke up and you were gone…I needed some air, went outside and walked about for a little before getting a drink’’ I told her as I held my coffee up slightly and moved back towards the chairs where I had been laid and sat down again before I pulled one of my feet up on to the bench and rested my chest against it. ‘’where’s my mom and Brad too’’ I asked.  
‘’They left about an hour after you fell asleep, Leila said something about checking on your brother and informing the school about what has happened and we told Brad to go home and get some rest himself, he said he will come back in tomorrow with some clean clothes for you too’’ Lisa told me as I nodded and looked over at her.  
‘’Do you think he’s okay, I mean there was only four bullets, what’s taken them so long?’’ I asked quietly as she sighed and shook her head.  
‘’I don’t know honey, but how are you feeling?’’ She asked and I shrugged slightly as I turned back and looked toward the windows again before back as I sipped at my coffee before I moved and sat it down on the table in the middle of the room.  
‘’Exhausted, feeling like my hearts been ripped out, I feel like I know nothing about Tommy’’ I admitted in a whisper, ‘’why do you think he never told me about your parents? He wont talk to me, blocks me out whenever I try and ask something about his personal life’’ I asked her, her eyes flicking over to the other girl before back again as she shrugged.  
‘’I don’t know Adam, Tommy can be stubborn sometimes’’ She told me as I nodded.  
‘’I hear that you are in love with him’’ Looking up at the other girl, I felt a small blush form over my cheeks as I nodded and looked back down at my hands as I twisted my rings around my fingers.  
‘’Yeah, I am…but Tommy doesn’t believe in love, he thinks it’s a lie and he doesn’t want to be in love himself’’ I shrugged out before I moved and laid back down again, my front facing against the back of the chairs as I let my eyes close again.  
‘’Give him time Adam, I haven’t seen Tommy this happy in a long time and it’s all since he met you’’ the other girl said softly as I heard movement before feeling her fingers move through my hair softly.


	7. Come out of the darkness, I know that you can find your way somehow

 

 

 

 

 

_‘’Tommy…what are you doing here?’’ I yawned out slightly as I answered the door, rubbing at my eyes as he chuckled softly, I stepped back and headed back towards my room again as I heard him step inside and door close behind him before he locked it again._   
_‘’Sorry, just couldn’t sleep again’’ Hearing his voice, I nodded slightly as the sound of his shoes echoed against the wooden flooring before I stepped in to my room and walked back to my bed, crawling on to it, I let myself fall forward and buried my face in to the pillows again as I breathed out, sleep already tugging me back under as I felt the bed dip before a cold hand slipped down my back and I shivered, head turning to look towards him in the dim light._   
_‘’What time is it?’’ I asked as I shifted slightly on to my side and pushed my arm under my pillow as Tommy turned to look at my bedside clock._   
_‘’Just gone 3am’’ Tommy told me before he turned back, ‘’sorry for waking you up, I just couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to be alone’’ He whispered as I nodded with a yawn before I shifted slightly on the bed to kick the covers further down as Tommy shifted around on the bed, his hands pulling clothes away before I jumped as his cold body pressed against mine._   
_‘’Geese you’re freezing Tommy’’ I muttered out as he laughed quietly and wiggled around until he was facing me, a knee moving in between my legs and curling around my thigh as he pushed his arms under mine, ‘’not helping’’ I mumbled out as he shrugged and tucked his face in to my neck slightly where I felt cold lips press a small kiss against my skin_   
_‘’They say the best way to warm up is to share body heat’’ he whispered against my neck before he moved slightly and pulled the covers up over our bodies before moving back to press against me._

_Curling my arm around his waist, I softly pulled him closer again as his warm breath spread out over my skin, his hair tickling against my jaw as I moved slightly and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead._   
_‘’What were you doing before I turned up?’’ Tommy asked softly as I sighed,_   
_‘’Sleeping like normal people’’ I mumbled back before he laughed quietly._   
_‘’Im normal and I don’t believe you’’ He told me and I groaned slightly before pushing him away and turned over, sure enough moments later, I felt Tommy’s arm slip around my waist and his lips press against my shoulder blade softly. ‘’you don’t sleep with anything on and normally when I come around this time of night you don’t bother to put anything on because you always look through the peephole first and just hide behind the door when you open it’’ He whispered out to me._   
_‘’Maybe I fancied a change’’ I muttered out to him, his breath fanning out over my skin as he laughed and trailed his rough fingertips over my lower stomach before they slowly slipped down over the front of my sleep pants, the feeling of his lips curling in to a smirk against my skin making me swallow slightly as his hand squeezed softly._   
_‘’I think someone was thinking about something while sleeping’’ He whispered as he adjusted behind me, lips grazing my ear as I breathed out softly._   
_‘’So what if I was’’ I muttered out as I moved back closer to him and away from his hand slightly before his arm tightened around my waist and his hand moved under the pants and around me, his fingers slowly moving in long strokes as I swallowed._   
_‘’We should fix it for you’’ Tommy whispered in to my ear again before I felt himself lift up slightly, turning over on to my back, I looked up at him as he moved carefully over me and I parted my legs for him to settle between them. Pulling him down softly, I pressed my lips against his as a hand moved down to his hip and pulled him closer as I slipped my other in to his hair, breathing out as he pulled away and started to kiss down my jaw to my neck, I couldn’t help but buck up slightly in to his touch as I turned my head slightly to give him room._   
_‘’This is happening too much…too often’’ I whispered out to him, my breath hitching as he nipped at my collar bone, I wanted to have Tommy but I knew he never wanted a real relationship because it meant too much of a risk with falling in love. Getting lost in thoughts, I realized that Tommy had been speaking against my skin as he moved down lower over my chest._   
_‘’-live Adam’’ Tommy whispered against my stomach before he nipped at it, a small breath leaving my lips, ‘’always happen when we are alone’’ He whispered against my lower stomach as he glanced up at me, ‘’if you didn’t want it to happen…you wouldn’t let me in’’ Tommy said softly as he nipped at the skin just above my waist band._

_Walking back in to the bedroom quietly, I paused in the doorway before I glanced towards the bed to see Tommy laid out on his back, an arm behind his head and covers around his waist before he turned to look towards me, a soft smile on his lips which I returned as I dropped the towel and walked back over, climbing back in to bed again, I moved closer to him and moved my hands to either side of his waist as I straddled his thighs again._   
_‘’I thought we just had a shower to clean up?’’ Tommy smirked out as I shook my head softly._   
_‘’You’re an ass, you know that right?’’ I told him as he shrugged softly,_   
_‘’I know you like my ass, your dick keeps returning to it’’ He grinned out before laughing as I slapped his chest. Shaking my head slightly, I rolled off him again and pulled the covers up around my waist as I leaned over the bed and grabbed my boxers, pulling them on under the covers I laid back again, ‘’oh come on, im playing babe’’ Tommy spoke out as I shrugged slightly,_   
_‘’Like I said, you’re an ass’’ I told him as I looked up at him, a soft smile on his lips before he leaned down and brushed his lips over mine softly._   
_‘’Im sorry’’ He whispered before I sighed and shoved him back again and curled against his side, my head on his chest as he dropped his arm down around my shoulders and let his fingertips stroke over my skin._   
_‘’Can we go to sleep now, I was sleeping before you turned up’’ I mumbled out to him as his chest moved with his laughter._   
_‘’Sure Adam, then I’ll make your breakfast when we get up’’ Tommy told me as his hand moved up through my hair softly._   
_‘’Make it pancakes and I’ll love you forever’’ I mumbled out, his fingers pausing before going back to their soft strokes as he shifted lightly on the bed and I adjusted against his side before pulling the covers closer._   
_‘’What ever you want Adam, I’ll do what ever you want’’ he whispered._

_Stirring, I rolled over in bed and stretched my arm out to feel the covers and other side cold, lifting my head slightly, I blinked at the light in the room before dropping my head down again with a small sigh as I realized Tommy had gone. Rubbing at my eyes, I pushed myself up and climbed out of bed, running my hands through my hair slightly, I yawned and stumbled in to the kitchen before I started to make some coffee._   
_Scanning my eyes around, I realized that nothing had been touched and I leaned against the counter with a sigh, every time Tommy had turned up in the middle of the night with him saying he didn’t want to be alone, he had always been gone by the time I woke up and it hurt a little each time it happened. Pushing angry tears away as I sipped at my drink, I settled it back down on the counter before I moved around and started to tidy up some of my papers which was on the counter before I heard the front door open and then close._   
_‘’I thought you had left without saying goodbye again’’ I spoke out as I turned to see Tommy walking in to the kitchen, his head rising with wide eyes as he spotted me._   
_‘’You wanted pancakes…had to go buy some things from the store to make them’’ He said before holding the bag up as he walked further in and over to the counter where I was stood and placed it on top._   
_‘’You didn’t have to go and buy things, I have batter mix in the cupboard’’ I told him as he shrugged._   
_‘’They taste better made from scratch’’ He told me as I turned to look at him as he smiled at me softly._   
_‘’Wouldn’t take you as being someone who could cook pancakes from scratch’’ I teased softly as I moved and wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in to his neck._   
_‘’I’ve told you before that there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me and my cooking skills are the bees knees, I can make one mean taco too’’ he laughed out, hands patting against my arms before he moved out of them and started to move around the kitchen,_   
_‘’Maybe I will get to try them one day’’ I spoke out as brown eyes glanced towards me as a smirk tilted his lips._   
_‘’Maybe if you’re lucky, now go do something, I don’t know…mails on the coffee table in the lounge, don’t want distractions in the kitchen while im cooking’’ Tommy told me as he pointed towards the door vaguely._   
_‘’you’re such a keeper’’ I teased softly as I grabbed my coffee again and kissed his cheek, heading out of the kitchen, I paused slightly and glanced back to see Tommy lean against the counter top, his eyes closed before he breathed out deeply._

_Biting my lip as I frowned, I turned and headed in to the lounge where I grabbed the mail and sat down on the couch, my back against the arm of it before I stretched my legs out and rested the cup against my thigh,_   
_‘’Hey Adam where’s the oil kept?’’ Tommy called out and I grinned slightly as I glanced towards the door._   
_‘’Cupboard to the left of the stove’’ I called back before I dropped my eyes back down to the mail as I finished reading through and opening things, dropping them back on the table again, I sat there and finished my coffee off before I headed back out in to the kitchen before Tommy appeared in front of me, a wooden spoon held up as I stepped back._   
_‘’I said to stay out’’ he told me before I laughed softly and reached up, letting my thumb brush over a small amount of flour on his cheek, I held the coffee cup up with my other hand._   
_‘’Was just going to put this in the sink’’ I told him before he took it off me and pointed the spoon away. ‘’okay, okay im gone’’ I laughed as I walked back down towards my bedroom and inside, finding some clean lounge pants I pulled them on and climbed back in to bed again as I flicked the TV on._

_Everything felt oddly domestic and deep down inside my heart, I loved it._

.oΩo.

‘’Its been two days and six hours, twenty four minutes and five seconds since I last heard your voice’’ I whispered out to Tommy, his pale body still hooked up to machines and a small tube in his mouth to help him breath as I swallowed slightly and rubbed my eyes against my knees which had my arms wrapped around them tightly, ‘’I need you to come back to me baby, I can’t live without you…don’t want to live without you Tommy’’ I told him softly, ‘’god there’s so much I want to ask you, so much I want to tell you’’ I whispered, ‘’why didn’t you tell me about your parents baby, that that day was your birthday, I would’ve brought you a present, would’ve made your day so much better than going to my mom’s for dinner.’’ Listening, I let my eyes travel over his body slowly as the machines responded to my words with soft bleeps of unchanged heartbeats.  
‘’Hi…is this a bad time?’’ Turning, I looked towards the door as Mia stood halfway inside and I shook my head before wiping my eyes clear quickly,  
‘’No, come in’’ I told her with a small smile as she slowly slipped in and closed the door behind her gently,  
‘’How is he doing?’’ She asked as her feet moved her towards the chair I was sat in before I felt her press a soft kiss against my cheek.  
‘’The same, there hasn’t been any change since they brought him back the other day, he’s still weak a little but they managed to stop the bleeding in time and remove all but one of the bullets’’ I told her as she nodded, ‘’doctors say that that bullet wont harm him in anyway and that it would probably be best to just leave it where it is’’ I said softly before I moved a little in the chair and made room for her to sit down as I rested my head against her shoulder.  
‘’Tommy’s a fighter, he’ll pull through anything else to come, he got through everything this far’’ Mia told me softly before she moved her fingers around my hand and squeezed softly,  
‘’I know he will, it just hurts seeing him like this’’ I whispered as she sighed and wrapped her other arm around me.  
‘’I know sweetie, just sleep for a while, I know you hide out in here so we can’t tell you to rest but im here and I can watch your boy while you sleep’’ She whispered before I nodded softly.  
‘’Okay, but wake me the moment anything changes’’ I told her as she laughed softly,  
‘’of course Adam, you know I will’’ she told me.

 

‘’Hey you’’ Looking up from the book I had in my hands, I smiled lightly towards Brad as he pushed the door open a little more and stepped inside, ‘’thought I would bring some of the school work you’ve missed out on to you and some spare clothes’’ He told me as I stood and walked over with a smile.  
‘’Thanks’’ I smiled at him as he nodded and handed the bag over, pulling it over to the chair, I settled it down before I started to look through it and pulled a set of fresh clothes out.  
‘’Tommy’s of the support machine’’ Brad spoke out and I looked up with a grin as I nodded.  
‘’Yeah, the doctors took him off it two days ago because he was breathing a lot stronger, they say he’s been making a lot of progress in the four days which he has been here’’ I grinned out as he chuckled softly, hands resting on the bar at the bottom of the bed as he smiled fondly.  
‘’You know, we never really got to talk about everything you two were talking about that day’’ Brad said and I glanced up slightly as I shrugged,  
‘’Not a lot to talk about, it sounded like it sounded’’ I told him,  
‘’so how long have you been together?’’ He asked and I paused slightly as I pulled the pants out,  
‘’We aren’t…not really’’ I told him,  
‘’Adam’’  
‘’Brad he doesn’t believe in love, he doesn’t want to fall in love with anyone and just because I have doesn’t mean anything’’ I told him as I stood up and turned to face him again, ‘’and if casual sex is all im going to get then I’ll deal with it, just as long as Tommy’s in my life, im happy with whatever I can get’’ I told him.  
‘’You know its going to end badly honey, I just don’t want to see you hurt’’ Brad told me as he walked over and pulled me in to a soft hug, sighing, I returned it softly before pulling away again.  
‘’I know and I’ll deal with it when it happens, until then im going to go shower and come back and do some work before getting some more sleep again, im sure Mia or Lisa will turn up at some point to make sure I do and eat too’’ I chuckled as Brad nodded with a smile.  
‘’Alright, remember, just call me if you need anything okay, I’ll let Leila know how he’s doing’’ He told me as I nodded.  
‘’Thank you’’ I whispered as we headed out the room and he shook his head.  
‘’It’s what friends do honey’’ He winked before I felt him press a kiss to my cheek and skip of towards the exit again, shaking my head, I turned and headed towards the bathroom before I slipped inside and locked the door.

Dressed, I stood in front of the small mirror in the bathroom and swiped my hand across it before I moved the towel up and started to dry my hair off as I sighed softly, I knew that I would have to leave the hospital at some point to get some proper rest and real food, but I didn’t want to leave Tommy alone, I felt like I had to be here with him at all times like I had promised him.  
Letting the towel I used drop in to the waste bag they had inside the bathroom door, I slipped my socks and shoes back on again before I headed out, my old clothes in my hands as I moved back towards the room slowly, my eyes on the floor before I yawned softly and rubbed at the back of my neck. Glancing up, I noticed a few doctors walk out of Tommy’s room and I frowned slightly before I moved closer to them, their voices low before the female looked up and smiled softly.  
‘’Adam, I thought you might have been in the shower when we didn’t find you in Tommy’s room’’ He spoke out and I felt the panic rise in my chest as I stared at him,  
‘’is he okay?’’ I asked before he chuckled softly and nodded,  
‘’He’s fine son, as a matter of fact, he woke up not that long ago,’’ He told me and I looked up with wide eyes before I looked towards the door which was half closed.  
‘’He’s awake’’ I whispered, ‘’that’s good right that he’s awake already after four days and the two surgery’s right’’ I asked as he nodded with a smile.  
‘’It is, Tommy is strong and is fighting hard to recover, he’s resting again at the moment, he will be in and out of sleep often while recovering, that is normal so don’t be worried if you are talking and he falls asleep’’ the doctor told me as I nodded softly, ‘’we will be moving him to another wing of the ward in a few minutes now that he is out of the main danger, so if you wanted to collect your things and make sure everything you need is with you, we will get that all sorted’’ He told me as I nodded.  
‘’Thank you’’ I smiled before he patted my elbow softly and walked away, taking a deep breath, I couldn’t help the smile which came to my lips as I stepped closer and slipped back in to the room again, the soft sounds of the heart monitor still the loudest thing in the room as I moved to my bag and pushed everything inside before I looked towards Tommy.

All the tubes had been moved away from his body and he was only connected to a few wires which were attached to the heart monitor and the IV drip which was in his hand, stepping closer, I lightly reached out and brushed my fingertips against his hand. It felt amazing knowing that he was alive and recovering quickly after all the trauma he had gone through.  
‘’We are ready to move him now’’ Turning as I heard a soft voice, I smiled towards the nurse before I nodded and moved away from the bed as she walked in with the doctor and a few other nurses who started to move everything around and place it on the bed before the doctor opened the door wider and unlatched the other side as they wheeled him out.  
Grabbing my bag and the one which Brad had brought, I followed them out of the room and along the quiet hallways before I watched them hook all the machines back up again and settle Tommy’s IV back up on to one of the drip poles.  
‘’If you need anything, you know where the nurse’s station is, just go to them or press the buzzer on the wall…try and get some more rest Adam you are exhausted’’ The doctor told me as I nodded.  
‘’I know and I will, thank you for everything’’ I told him before he shook his head,  
‘’Im just doing my job Adam, I take it that you haven’t spoken to his sister yet?’’ He asked and I shook my head, ‘’that’s okay, I will get in contact with her to let her know the good news’’ He told me before walking away again.  
Setting my bag down again, I pulled the book which I had been reading out and quietly moved the chair closer to the bed before I sat down again and just stared at Tommy’s face softly before I looked back down at my book as I opened it, leaning over the chair again, I grabbed a pen and m notebook before pulling it softly on the side of bed as I carried on the small amount of work which had be doing.

 

Stirring slightly, I let my arm move up over my book and papers more and under my head as I buried my face in to the crook of my arm to try and hide from the slight light which was filtering in to the room, hearing a soft chuckle, I let a small breath out before fingers softly stroked through my hair, the soft feeling luring me under again.  
‘’It’s Thursday’’ A voice whispered out, I could feel warmth around my hand as I laid against the side of the bed still, once again sleep tugging me under and waking up again every so often and missing things being said before I shifted slightly and brought a hand up to rub at my eyes, ‘’I’ll leave you alone’’ Opening my eyes slightly, I glanced across the room to see Lisa standing from the other chair in the room.  
‘’don’t have too’’ I mumbled out as she laughed softly and walked over, sitting up slowly, I moved my hand up to the back of my neck again and rubbed at it, the soreness from sleeping awkwardly running through before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek.  
‘’I think I’ll rather leave your make up to just you and my brother’’ she whispered in to my ear before pulling away again, feel a soft squeeze around my hand, I spun around to face Tommy to see him sat up slightly and awake, the crooked of his on his lips again as I turned my hand around in his and let my fingers slide through his, tears filling my eyes again as I faintly heard the sound of the door close.  
‘’Hi’’ He whispered out softly, ‘’hey don’t cry Adam’’ He told me as his hand left mine and touched against my cheek before I had even realized that any tears had fallen.  
‘’Don’t ever do that to me again’’ I whispered out to him as I grabbed his hand again and kissed his palm, eyes closing slightly before I opened them to look at him again. ‘’I can’t lose you Tommy’’  
‘’Hey im still here, not going anywhere Adam’’ Tommy told me softly as his thumb brushed over my cheek, ‘’not getting rid of me that easily’’ He laughed before stopping as pain swept across his face, ‘’im fine Adam’’ He told me as I went to reach for the button for the nurse.  
‘’You’re in pain’’  
‘’Nurse gave me some painkillers while you slept’’ He told me as I looked down and nodded softly, ‘’when did you go home last?’’ He asked and I glanced up at him before down again as I felt a small blush formed across my cheeks, ‘’Lisa told me everything you know’’ He whispered softly as I nodded and looked up at him.  
‘’I want to hate you for what you did but I can’t…god Tommy I can’t hate you because of how much I lo- like you’’ I changed quickly as he looked at me, eyebrow raised slightly.  
‘’Come here’’ He whispered before he tugged at my hand slightly,  
‘’Tommy I can’t get on the bed, you’re still hurt’’ I told him as he sighed and tried sitting up more, moving to my feet, I let my hands press against his shoulders and press him back carefully. ‘’stop being stubborn Tommy, just listen for once will you please’’ I cried out to him before I felt his hands press against my sides softly as brown eyes met mine and he slowly moved a hand back to mine.  
‘’Im sorry okay’’ He whispered softly, tears filling his own eyes, ‘’I just have this thing about looking after people, protecting them, I don’t think about my own safety’’ He told me as a single tear slowly moved down over his cheek, reaching up, I cupped his jaw softly and let my thumb brush the tear away as I leaned down and let my forehead press against his as I closed my eyes.  
‘’Let others look after you Tommy’’ I whispered, ‘’let me look after you, you mean everything to me and I was so scared that day, I heard the bangs and saw you go down when they ran…god Tommy, I thought I was going to lose you’’ I choked out as his hand moved up to the back of my neck and pulled me down softly, letting my lips press back against his slowly, I moved my hand up to the one he had on my neck and sank my fingers through his before I slowly pulled away again.  
‘’Thank you for not leaving me alone’’ Tommy whispered through a weak smile which I returned before brushing my lips over his lightly again as I carefully sat on the edge of the bed.  
‘’I could never leave your side Tommy’’ I whispered back to him as I let our fingers slide together, foreheads touching against each other’s again as he smiled.


	8. When I'm with you, I loose my mind

_‘’I don’t think I can do this Tommy’’ I told him at the same time as I swallowed, his laughter echoing around the empty parking lot as he turned to look at me, the visor of his helmet pushed up._  
 _‘’Are you really that scared?’’ He asked and I swallowed slightly before looking up at him,_  
 _‘’It isn’t as much as me being scared…just more along the lines of I’ve never been on one before’’ I admitted as he chuckled softly,_  
 _‘’I promise you it isn’t that bad Adam, just climb on and keep a tight hold on me, now we both know you can do that’’ He winked and I blushed slightly before taking a deep breath and nodded._  
 _‘’Okay, okay, but if I die, im totally coming back to haunt your skinny ass’’ I told him as I pulled the helmet on to my head and climbed on to the back of his bike as he laughed._  
 _Holding on tightly, I moved my feet to where Tommy said to move them before the roar of the engine kicked to life and I felt Tommy’s own foot leave the ground as he started to drive away. Closing my eyes behind the visor, I tightened my grip around his waist as his faint laugh echoed around us on the wind._

_Feeling a tapping against my hand, I slowly opened my eyes again to see that we had stopped and Tommy had twisted slightly just to look at me, a grin on his lips as I quickly let him go and slipped of the bike and pulled the helmet off my head and held it out towards him as he laughed._  
 _‘’Stop it’’ I muttered out as he took it and climbed off himself._  
 _‘’Im sorry Adam, its just too funny’’ Tommy admitted as he lf med up and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of my lips before he stepped away and motioned for me to follow. Hearing waves hit rocks, I couldn’t help but smile slightly as I thought back to the words Tommy had told me, ‘meet me where the music meets the ocean’, in a way I now understood them, the sound of the waves breaking was soft and relaxing. ‘’hey big guy, going to come in any time soon’’ Jumping again, I turned and looked towards Tommy to see him stood in an open doorway before I grinned and nodded._

_Jogging up the steps and inside, I dropped the bag I was carrying and pushed the door closed behind me as Tommy smiled towards me, his shoulder resting against the wall before I walked towards him, my hands sliding against his jaw as his body moved to press his back against the wall, cold hands sliding under my shirt as I stepped closer and pressed my lips against his deeply._  
 _‘’Mm’ bedroom’’ Tommy mumbled against my lips even as his hands slipped further up under my shirt and against my back as I pulled away and rested my forehead against his, eyes closed._  
 _‘’Why are we still doing this?’’ I whispered out brokenly as I blinked my eyes open to stare back in to rich brown ones._  
 _‘’Because we both like it and we can get enough of each other, we are like a drug, we know its bad for us but we can’t stop ourselves from getting that next fix’’ He whispered back just as broken as fingertips trailed down my spine and over my pants until they slipped in to my back pockets and pulled my hips flushed with his._  
 _‘’We need to stop’’ I breathed out as I pressed my lips against his jaw, ‘’its going to end badly’’ I breathed out as I rested my forehead against his temple and let my eyes close again,_  
 _‘’How is it?’’ Tommy breathed out as he rolled his hips up against mine, the movement drawing a sound out of both our lips._  
 _‘’Because I will end up falling for you Tommy, I will end up falling in love and I wont be able to stop myself from doing that with you’’ I whispered in to his ear as I lightly nipped at it. ‘’and I know you don’t believe in love but…fuck, I just know it will happen and it will break me when it does’’ I breathed out as Tommy’s hands came back up and pushed me away slightly as I met his eyes as they searched over my face._  
 _Feeling him take my hand, I followed him silently as he started to walk backwards before turning and led me towards a closed door which he pushed open and pulled me inside, his other hand moving up to wrap around the back of my neck as he pulled me down and pressed his lips back against mine as we kept walking backwards until Tommy’s legs caught his bed and we both fell back on to it._

_Holding Tommy’s hands above his head, his fingers linked through with mine as I slowly sank further in to him, I watched as his eyes slipped closed and head tilted back, body arched up as soft breaths left his parted lips. Leaning down, I brushed my lips over his throat in soft kisses before I rested my forehead against his shoulder as I finally seated myself, our hips flushed as we both breathed out._  
 _‘’God Tommy’’ I groaned out as I moved my hips in a small roll, the same breath leaving his own lips as his fingers tightened around mine._  
 _‘’Move please’’ He begged out as I felt lips ghost over my hair and cheek as I nodded and start to slowly pull out before pushing back in again as one of his hands left mine and curled around my shoulders, dull fingernails digging in to my skin as his leg moved up against my side, his other wrapping around my own thigh as his body moved up against mine._

_Stirring slightly, I slowly opened my eyes up to the darkness around me and an empty bed as I slowly pushed myself to my elbow and rubbed my hand over face as the covers pooled around waist, shivering slightly in the cold breeze, I turned and looked towards an open doorway, moon light shining in slightly as I climbed out and slipped my boxers back on._  
 _Walking towards the door, I glanced out to see Tommy sat on a few steps leading down to what looked like the beach in the dark, the sound of waves breaking against the shore soft as I just watched him for a while until the coldness got the better of me and I turned back to the bed, grabbing the covers, I wrapped them around me slightly before I walked out and softly sat beside Tommy as I wrapped an covered arm around his waist, his body leaning in to mine as his arm slipped around my thigh._  
 _‘’Couldn’t sleep?’’ I asked as he nodded slightly against my shoulder,_  
 _‘’Sorry if I woke you up’’ He told me as I chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to the top of his head._  
 _‘’You didn’t’’ I told him honestly as he nodded. ‘’its beautiful out here with the moonlight, kind of makes me want to dance in the light’’ I whispered as he laughed_  
 _‘’where the music meets the ocean’’ Tommy said quietly as his arm squeezed my thigh._  
 _‘’Yeah, I understand what you meant by that now’’ I told him as he chuckled softly._  
 _‘’we should totally buy a place together on the beach’’ Tommy laughed, ‘’and have a room where you can sing in and a room all full of guitars for myself and then every night we can dance together in the moon’s light before stripping naked and jumping in to the ocean’’ Tommy told me as we both laughed._  
 _‘’I think I’ll leave the skinny dipping to you baby, im not freezing my dick off for any one’’ I told him._  
 _‘’So that’s why you’re sat out here now shivering’’ Tommy said, his body slightly as I turned to look at him with a grin._  
 _‘’Well that’s different, im still warm a little with you beside me’’ I told him with a smile which he returned before leaning up, his lips brushing over mine before he went back to resting his head against my shoulder._  
 _‘’I wish life never had to be so complicated’’ He whispered as I moved my arm around him more._  
 _‘’It’s only as complicated as you let it be Tommy, what’s going on in that mind of yours?’’ I asked as he shrugged._  
 _‘’Nothing important, just thinking about a few things in life that’s all, nothing to worry about’’ He told me with a smile as he pulled away and stood, ‘’come on lets go back to bed and in the warm, October isn’t really the time of year to be sat out on the beach steps near the ocean in nothing but boxers’’ He laughed as he offered his hand out._

_Taking it, I let him lead me back inside again before I pulled the covers away from me and straightened them out over the bed again as Tommy closed and locked the doors, sliding back underneath, I pulled him in to my arms as he curled against my chest._  
 _‘’Thank you for being here’’ Tommy whispered as I frowned and looked down at him._  
 _‘’what do you mean?’’ I whispered as I stroked a hand along his back and softly curled it around his neck._  
 _‘’Nothing…don’t worry,’’ He grinned as he turned to look at me, ‘’just my tiredness talking, go back to sleep’’ Tommy whispered out as he curled closer, his face burying against my neck as his leg hooked between mine._  
 _‘’You would tell me if something was really bugging you, wouldn’t you?’’ I asked as he nodded._  
 _‘’Of course Adam’’ He whispered back on a yawn, ‘’I would tell you anything.’’_

.oΩo.

‘’Hey loser, good to see you finally decided to join the real world again’’ Turning away from Tommy, I couldn’t help but laugh as Mia walked in.  
‘’Oh god, don’t say you have actually gotten to know Mia too’’ Tommy asked as I looked at him and laughed, a small blush on my cheek s as I nodded.  
‘’Actually you should be thanking me and your sister boy, if it wasn’t for us, this gorgeous boy here would probably be in his own hospital room for the lack of sleep and eating he did while you were off dancing with the devil’’ She winked out as I groaned and dropped my head back down on to the side of the bed again,  
‘’Adam’’ Tommy groaned as I felt his fingers move against the back of my neck.  
‘’I know, I know’’ I muttered out. ‘’im shit at keeping myself alive when someone I care about decides to scare the living shit out of me’’ I grumbled,  
‘’Aww Adam you are so in love its unreal’’ Mia laughed out before I felt Tommy’s fingers pause on the back of my neck slightly before slipping up in to my hair.  
‘’Not in love’’ I mumbled out against the bed covers as Tommy’s fingers massaged against his skull slightly.  
‘’Aww don’t kid yourself’’  
‘’Mia leave him alone’’ Tommy spoke out, his voice low as she huffed out a whatever,  
‘’Anyway, how are you feeling baby?’’ She spoke out as I slowly lifted my head up and sat back in the chair as Tommy’s hand moved up to rest against his stomach softly.  
‘’Great actually, the doctor says I can leave in a few days’’ Tommy beamed out as I brought my legs up on to the chair and rested my arms over my knees as Mia smiled,  
‘’that’s great news,…wait does that mean I have to drive you to school all the time now?’’ She asked as he groaned.  
‘’No it doesn’t, I mean im sure I can drive myself’’ Tommy laughed out.  
‘’Doctor said no driving until the stitches are out’’ I spoke out lightly before I lifted my eyes to see them both staring at me, ‘’what its true, but I think its stupid that he can go back to school yet he can’t drive’’  
‘’You worry to much’’ Tommy told me as I frowned at him.  
‘’You got shot Tommy’’ I counted back before we both turned to look towards Mia as she laughed.  
‘’You’re both like a married couple, I think it’s cute’’ She grinned as I settled back in to the chair again and looked down at my knees as I picked at the thread which was hanging off the seam slightly.

 

‘’Hey are you okay?’’ Looking up from where I was sat with my legs crossed on the end of the bed, I looked up at him and nodded slightly before dropping back down again to the book laid open in my lap, ‘’hey’’ Tommy whispered out as he nudged my thigh with his blanket covered foot. ‘’You know you can tell me anything right?’’ He asked as I looked up at him again.  
‘’Those are my words’’ I told him as he grinned softly.  
‘’Then tell me what’s going on, you’ve been all quiet since Mia left a few hours ago’’ Tommy said as I shrugged.  
‘’Im fine Tommy, I promise’’ I told him with a smile  
‘’then why are you sat all the way down there where I can’t cuddle with you then?’’ He asked, smiling softly, I tugged my book mark in to my pages and closed the book as I stood and dropped it on to the chair as he carefully moved over.  
‘’Stop moving about you idiot’’ I told him as he laughed softly  
‘’Sorry, just making room for you’’ Tommy told me as I rolled my eyes and climbed back on to the bed beside him, my arm rising up as he moved and leaned against my chest. Curling my arm around his shoulders, I rested my cheek against the top of his head as he trailed his fingertips across my stomach.

Humming quietly, I let my body relax softly as I trailed my fingertips over his shoulder, a small content sigh leaving his lips as he snuggled closer and I opened my eyes to look down at him as his hand slipped under my shirt to lay over my stomach.  
‘’You’re warm…wanna keep you’’ Tommy mumbled out quietly as he rubbed his chin against my chest ‘’soft and warm like a blanket.’’  
‘’You’re talking shit now baby’’ I whispered to him as I curled my hand around the top of his shoulder.  
‘’Mm’ not, wanna keep you, talking truth not shit’’ Tommy mumbled again as he moved and curled closer to me.  
‘’What ever you say Tommy, just go to sleep and get some more rest okay, you’re going to go home in a few days and Mia will help you out with getting around and you will be back to normal in no time at all.’’ I told him softly.  
‘’And you are going to help me too’’ He mumbled, the feeling of his warm breath sinking through my shirt as I smiled weakly.  
‘’Yeah if you wanted me too Tommy-Joe’’ I whispered out.  
‘’Always want you to help, wanna keep you’’ He mumbled out, words slurred slightly with sleep, ‘’mine’’ He muttered out as I turned to look at him.

Watching him sleep for a while, I couldn’t help but think over the single word he had said, the word mine ran through my mind trying to find any sort of reasonable answer for why he had said it when from the get go Tommy has always said that he didn’t believe in love and that what we had together wasn’t anything but someone to turn to when we wanted to be with someone, no relationship attached…just friends.  
‘’I wish you just admitted the truth to me Tommy’’ I whispered to his sleeping form before I let a small sigh out and brushed his hair away from his face which was peaceful, ‘’god how could I even think about walking away from you once we left here’’ I whispered, angry at myself for even thinking what I had done, the thought of leaving Tommy alone and staying away from him made my heart hurt as I pressed a kiss to the top of his head before laying back again and let my own eyes close. ‘’I’ll always be yours baby, don’t want anyone else but you’’ I whispered out to the silent room as I felt sleep starting to pull me under.


	9. When your soul is tired and your heart is weak, do you think of love as a oneway street, well it runs both ways, open your eyes, cant you see me here, how can you deny

 

__

 

 

_‘’Tommy’’ I murmured out to him before I glanced over to see the smirk on his face._   
_‘’Im not doing anything Adam’’ He taunted back as I rolled my eyes and turned back to look at the road again as I drove._   
_‘’You know what you are doing’’ I asked as his hand once again moved along my thigh and towards my groin._   
_‘’Im not doing anything, im just sat here’’ He laughed out, his musical laugh filling the car as I glanced over and smiled at him before turning back again, the streetlights lighting the car up every so often as we drove back towards his place. ‘’how was your day anyway?’’ He asked and I shrugged a little before I let the steering wheel go and let my hand move over his, my fingers sliding through his as he squeezed them._   
_‘’Tough, Brad wouldn’t stop asking me questions and he was starting to annoy me a little, kept asking about you and how he wondered if you were just trying to mess my mind up and lead me down the wrong path’’ I muttered out as I let his hand go to change gears as I turned on to a different road and his hand slipped back down around my thigh, fingers pressing against the seam of my pants as I swallowed slightly, ‘’other than that mom is fine, she was happy to have lunch with me and Neil together without bickering over something like normal’’ I laughed as I slowed at some traffic lights just before the beach._   
_‘’What did you tell Brad?’’ Tommy asked as his hand slipped closer to my groin and I looked over at him with a warning look which he grinned at._   
_‘’That we were just English partners and often meet up just to go over everything we got for the project’’ I shrugged out, sure he didn’t really believe that and still thought that I am going to be taken to the dark side with you because you are the all almighty devil child’’ I told him as he laughed._   
_‘’Well that isn’t the first time something like that has been said about me’’ Tommy said softly as I frowned and looked back over at him as he smiled at me._   
_‘’I don’t like it when people talk about you badly’’ I admitted as his eyes softened slightly before he pulled his lips up in to a smirk._   
_‘’You worry too much Adam’’ He laughed before turning back as a car honked behind us, turning back to the road, I started to drive again as Tommy’s fingers stroked over my covered skin._   
_‘’Pull up here on the left’’ Tommy told me and I glanced over with a small frown before I turned the car off on the exit and drove in silence for a little while before I slowed down as lights started to fade out in between each other._   
_‘’Where are we going’’ I asked him._   
_‘’Somewhere I want to share with you, take a right and then another left’’ Tommy told me as I nodded and followed his directions before I came to a slow stop as I came up to a fence stopping anything from going over the edge of the cliff._

_Staring out over the view, I could see the soft lights of the city before  they broke away to the ocean, the sound of the waves clear around us as I turned to look over at Tommy as I shut the engine off._   
_‘’We are so clear to my home yet the view is amazing form here, hardly anyone knows about this place’’ Tommy told me as he kept his eyes on the view and I smiled softly._   
_‘’It’s beautiful’’ I told him as his head turned towards me with a smile. Watching as he moved and climbed in to the back seats, I frowned slightly and glanced back towards the view before Tommy’s fingers curled around my shirt and tugged me around._   
_‘’Come here you’’ He muttered out before laying back again, swallowing slightly at the look on his face, I slowly moved and made sure the engine was shut off fully before I turned and climbed in to the back with Tommy. Sitting back as Tommy leaned against the door, I watched as he bit at his thumb slightly, head turning to look out the window before he turned back and slowly moved to sit on his knees in front of me._   
_‘’You okay baby?’’ I asked him softly as I sat forward slightly and brought my hand up to his jaw as he swallowed slightly._   
_‘’Im fine, just nervous, don’t know why’’ He whispered out as his eyes met mine in the darkness, smiling softly, I leaned closer and pressed my lips against his softly as his hands moved up on to my neck gently before I felt him shift against me, his legs moving up over my thighs before he started to pull me down with him as he laid back against the back seats._

_Laying down over him softly, I pulled away and stared down at him, my hand moving up to cup his jaw as he blinked and ran his fingers up in to my hair slowly. Trailing my eyes over his face, I breathed in slightly as the realization dawned on me, everything I had been feeling towards Tommy had been growing and I knew that I was in love with him despite him not wanting to find love himself._   
_Lowering back down, the kiss was slower as his arms wrapped around my shoulders and I curled my arm down around his waist. Slowly breaking apart again, I looked down at him as he smiled softly and brought a hand up to my face, a finger running over my cheek before he trailed it along my lower lip and I pressed a light kiss to it which made him grin again. Shifting around carefully, I let my back press against the seats as Tommy’s own pressed against my chest, our arms tangled together around his waist as I pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck. Feeling Tommy squeeze my hands softly, I let my eyes open as I rested my head against his gently, our breathin even as I smiled and moved to tuck my face in to the side of his neck as his fingers trailed over my hand softly._   
_The silence was comfortable around us as it got darker around us until I couldn’t see the blondness of Tommy’s hair in front of me._

_Waking to warmth against my body and the warmth against my arms, I let a soft breath out and went to move before I found myself stuck, blinking my eyes open slowly, I looked around the back seats of my car before down at Tommy who was facing me now, our legs tangled together and his head against my chest, remembering last night, I smiled softly and pressed a kiss to the top of his head as he shifted slightly, the movement making his leg slide high between mine until it was tucked between my thighs._   
_‘’Hey’’ I whispered softly as I brought my free hand up and brushed it through his hair softly, a small protest leaving his lips as I chuckled softly and moved my hand under his chin and tilted it up to brush a kiss over his lips lightly._   
_‘’Don’t wanna wake up’’ He grumbled, laughing softly, I ran my hand over his back and breathed out deeply._   
_‘’You have to baby, I need to drop you home so you can change and I need to do the same before we are late for school’’ I whispered to him as he groaned and tightened his arms around my waist more._   
_‘’Fine, fine’’ He whined before slowly untangling himself from my body. Helping him climb back through to the front seat, I followed through and started the engine up before glancing over to see him already staring at me with a small smile turning the edges of his lips. ‘’I think that’s the first night we’ve spent together and not slept together’’ He said quietly as I nodded and turned back, pulling out and back on the main road towards Tommy’s, I couldn’t stop the smile which moved across my lips as I felt his hand cover mine on my thigh._   
_‘’Last night was perfect baby’’ I told him softly and glanced over to see his smile before back to the road again, his hand  squeezing mine softly before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek._   
_‘’It’s always perfect when im with you’’_

 .oΩo.

‘’I don’t know what to do Lisa’’ Pausing outside Tommy’s room, I frowned at the tone in his voice, ‘’I know im hurting him but I just don’t know how’’ He whispered out and I felt myself swallow slightly as I stood hidden behind the wall, the door open a small amount.  
‘’Just open your heart Tommy, that’s all he wants you to do, learn not to be afraid’’ Lisa’s voice echoed out from the quiet room before I heard the small groan from Tommy, ‘’You okay?’’  
‘’Im fine, my side is still a little tender from the bullet’’ Tommy muttered out, the sound of pain clear on his voice.  
‘’You have to talk to him Tommy’’ Lisa spoke out fondly,  
‘’About what Lis, I’ve lied to him so much since we’ve known each other, the only truth I have told him was about the reason I got kicked out my last school’’ Biting my lip slightly, I turned and leaned back against the wall as I glanced around the hallway. ‘’he will hate me and I don’t want that’’  
‘’It’s better than living a lie, tell him about mom and dad’’  
‘’I can’t’’  
‘’Tommy, It wasn’t your fault that they died okay, how was you to know any better that day?’’ Lisa spoke and I turned my head slightly towards the open door. ‘’their death was an accident, you were little, there was nothing you could do to save them.’’  
‘’Lisa’’ Tommy whispered and I swallowed slightly as a new emotion came across his voice, ‘’please don’t try and make it better, I know it was my fault okay, they wouldn’t of been out there if it wasn’t for me’’  
‘’Tommy-‘’  
‘’No Lisa…fuck’’  
‘’Tommy, come on, lay back…just talk to Adam honey, he will understand’’ Lisa whispered as I went to move and step inside, her words making me pause again.  
‘’I can’t okay, he will hate me for lying to him, I mean why would he want to stay hanging around someone who used to use all the time huh? I mean I know I wouldn’t, he’s just better off not knowing about my past Lisa, it’s safer that way.’’  
‘’And what about Malcolm’’ Lisa asked quietly and I felt my heart stop as silence followed her question.  
‘’There’s nothing I can do is there now, I mean I got away from him once, sure he found me and shot me but he’s locked up now for attempted murder, case close’’  
‘’don’t you think Adam has a right to know, that boy loves you Tommy, if he didn’t he wouldn’t of stayed here with you from the moment you were brought in, I’ve spoken with Brad about it and I don’t know what you remember from after you was shot but he was in tears while he was trying to keep you awake, wouldn’t let anyone else take you away, he exposed the both of you to Brad just to make you stay awake, he didn’t care that you had kept what you had together private Tommy, Adam loves you and no matter how much you try and tell yourself that you don’t believe in love, you are in love with him too.’’  
‘’I’m in love Lisa, that’s the truth, what me and Adam had…it…it wasn’t…wasn’t anything but fun’’ Tommy spoke out and I felt my heart break slightly as I moved away quickly, my mind replaying his words over and over as I felt my breath catch in my throat.

‘’Adam honey, it’s nice to see you’’ Turning, I looked towards one of the nurses who was walking towards Tommy’s room with a tray in her hand, forcing a smile, I breathed out slightly and nodded. ‘’coming to see Tommy again are you?’’ She asked and I panicked slightly before shaking my head.  
‘’Just leaving actually’’ I told her as she smiled sweetly and nodded, watching as she walked past and moved closer to the open door, I turned and sharply ran out the ward and towards the elevators where I pressed the call button. Inside and alone, I felt my heart break again as his words flashed across my memory as I slid down the wall and pulled my knees closer as tears pooled in to my eyes before falling, I knew that the moment I realized I was in love with him that I should’ve pushed away from him, I knew that it would all end badly for me but I just didn’t realize how soon that was going to happen.  
Pushing myself back to my feet as I got closer to the ground floor, I wiped at my tears hoping that it wouldn’t look too much like I had been crying just as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Stepping out, I moved through the hospital and out in to the fresh air before I paused and tried to take a deep breath, only for it to come out shaky again as I glanced back at the hospital, shaking my head, I tried to push what I had heard out my head as I started to walk away from everything I knew, I hated myself for running away and for not pretending I didn’t hear anything, to just wait for a while before walking in, a smile on my face and going about everything we normally done after I came back from getting a changed in one of the hospital’s bathrooms.

Getting a cab and sat in the back after giving the driver my address, I leaned against the door and stared out the window as the world past by quickly, tears forming again as the memories came back of each time me and Tommy was together alone or in public places like school, the way he would sit next to me, his hand resting over my thigh softly with mine on top or the way he would look across the room before the smile would appear on his lips the moment his eyes caught mine.  
‘’Son’’ Jumping slightly at the knock, I turned away to realize that we had arrived at my apartment and that the driver had turned around to knock on the divider.  
‘’Sorry’’ I whispered out before pulling my wallet out and counted the right amount of cash over.  
‘’You okay lad?’’ He asked and I swallowed slightly before I shrugged slightly.  
‘’Im as okay as you can be with a broken heart’’ I whispered out before I climbed out the cab and moved towards the door. Unlocking and stepping inside, I kicked the door closed again and locked it before I moved through the apartment and threw myself under my bed covers as the tears kicked back up again and I finally let them break free as my arms curled around my pillow.

At that moment in time, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to tell myself to try and make it better before I pulled my phone out and my thumb found its way to Brad’s number before it hit the call button.  
‘’It better be good, its god damn early still’’ Letting my eyes fall shut again as he answered, I struggled to find my voice at first before I took a short breath and choked out on a sob. ‘’Adam honey…what’s wrong’’ He asked concerned.  
‘’I...I hate love’’ I whispered out as more tears slipped down over my cheek slowly.  
‘’Oh baby, I will be right over, im assuming you’re at home now’’ He asked as I swallowed.  
‘’Yeah’’ I whispered out before the call ended and I let my phone slip free of my hand as I curled back up in to my pillow and tried to ignore Tommy’s smell on it.


	10. Sometimes the chase is worth the answers you recive

_‘’I’ve been thinking’’ I told Tommy as I moved across his room from the door and jumped up on to his bed where he had been sitting, laid out against the wall, the guitar in his hands before brown eyes sparkled up at me._   
_‘’This sounds promising’’ He chuckled as I laughed and rolled my eyes, leaning over, I brushed my lips over his before I flopped down and rested my head on his thigh, his hands pulling his guitar a little closer before one fell to brush through my hair,_   
_‘’What’s your plans for the 18 th?’’ I asked as I shivered against his touch._   
_‘’the 18 th’’ He asked as I glanced up and nodded._   
_‘’Yeah, I was wondering if you would come to moms with me for dinner, she wants to meet my new friend’’ I grinned out as he chuckled softly and nodded a little._   
_‘’If you want me to really meet you mom then okay’’ He smiled as I laughed and reached up, grabbing his hand, I let my fingers slide through his fingers and pulled them down to press a kiss across his knuckles._   
_‘’Good, that’s settled then, next week we are having dinner with my mom’’ I grinned out as he shook his head with a silent laugh on his lips which were pulled up at the corners._

_Letting my eyes close as Tommy went back to playing, I let the sound carry me away for a while as I relaxed back against his thigh, the warmth of it comforting against the back of my neck before the music faded away and I felt a gentle touch again my cheek which had me opening my eyes to look up at him with a smile._   
_‘’Sorry, I thought you had fallen asleep’’ He whispered to me quietly as I shook my head, pushing myself up, I turned and moved his guitar away from his body and laid it down on the bedroom floor softly before I straddled his lap and rested my hands on his shoulders as his slipped up my thighs._   
_‘’Why are we doing this to ourselves?’’ I whispered to him softly as his eyes met mine again and I watched him swallow._   
_‘’Adam-’’ He started to say as I shook my head,_   
_‘’No, Tommy really…why are we doing this still when we both know its going to end badly, I mean, we both want different things, I want love and a relationship and you don’t, you just want sex which doesn’t mean anything and I don’t, we are like chalk and cheese, not good for one another’’ I whispered softly. ‘’our paths should never of crossed’’_   
_‘’Hey don’t say that, im glad that they did, since I’ve known you Adam, you have gotten so much stronger and you aren’t as afraid of people in school anymore and I’ve been happier than I have in a while and that’s because of you’’ Tommy told me as he brought a hand up to wrap around my neck softly, ‘’so don’t say that our paths should not of crossed’’ He whispered as I breathed out slightly, the emotion in his eyes were confusion as I sighed and let him pull me down in to a soft kiss which I returned, my own hands slipping around to touch against the skin on his neck before I slipped one up in to his hair._

_Breaking away, I stared down at him as he stared back, a kind smile on his lips which I returned slowly before climbing off him and stood up from his bed, stretching slightly, I rubbed at my stomach as my top rose before pulling it back down again as I turned and walked back towards the doors which led down to the beach again and stepped outside, breathing in the sea air, I watched the waves crash against the golden sand before warm arms moved around my waist and I lifted my arm up to curl around Tommy’s shoulders softly._   
_‘’It’s really beautiful here’’ I told him as he laughed softly and nodded against my chest,_   
_‘’Another reason why I chose this place instead of further in the city, it creates its own music to go with mine’’ He told me as I smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, ‘’don’t worry, we will find another place like this for us, even if we do end up moving in to here together, we can make everything fit’’ He told me as I looked down at him before back up at the waves as I breathed out._   
_‘’Tommy’’_   
_‘’I know, I know, chalk and cheese but still Adam…just think about it, me and you living by the ocean together, making music, dancing in the moonlight like you have me doing’’ He told me as I smiled softly, ‘’we can just be who we want here, no one is watching us or telling us what to do or how to behave, we can be alone and the people we want to be’’ He told me with a gentle squeeze as I sighed and nodded._   
_‘’It does sound nice when you say it like that baby’’ I told him quietly as he grinned and looked up at me,_   
_‘’I know, that’s why I said it’’ He teased as I rolled my eyes and leaned down to softly brush my lips over the ones I had come to love over the past few months._   
_‘’You know, if we did ever live together and I say if, that there would be no secrets between us anymore’’ I whispered as I pulled away and stared in to his eyes as they glassed over slightly with another emotion I had often seen in them as he nodded._   
_‘’I know’’ He whispered, his eyes clearing as he smiled at me, ‘’but we all have them Adam and sometimes its better that they stay that way’’ He told me before I frowned._   
_‘’So there is something your aren’t telling me’’ I asked as he sighed,_   
_‘’Its nothing like that Adam, just…just some things are best left buried for a reason, I’ve never been in a gang like rumors have said about me in school, yes I have been arrested a couple of times but that’s not been major, just for getting in to fights for sticking up for others’’ He told me as he moved away and stood in front of me fully so he could look at me. ’’But the most I need to know is, do you trust me Adam?’’ He asked, eyes open and innocent as I nodded and pulled him in to a tight hug,_   
_‘’Of course I trust you Tommy, god I trust you with everything’’ I told him softly as he nodded and returned my hug tightly._

_Finally pulling away from each other, I looked down at him before cupping his jaw and leaned down to press my lips against his before he stopped me and I looked at him confused before he nodded towards his room. Taking his hand in mine softly, I turned and walked back inside before I felt him let go as I walked closer to his bed and climbed on to it as he locked the door to the outside.  
Watching as he turned slowly and looked towards me, I smiled softly which had him walking towards me slowly before he climbed up and let his body move until he was sat on my lap, his knees hugging my waist tightly as he folded his arms around my neck and pressed his lips to mine deeply. Kissing him back just as hard, I wrapped my arms around his waist before turning us over slowly until I was leaning over him, my body between his legs as I pulled away from the kiss and stared down at his brown eyes, I knew I would end up crashing but I couldn’t stop myself from being near him._

.oΩo.

‘’Come on, we are going to be late if you don’t move it’’ Brad whispered out to me softly as we stood at my open locker, my arms inside and balanced on a book before I turned to look at him.  
‘’Huh?’’  
‘’for god’s sake Adam, pull yourself together okay, its been a week already, just forget about it, he broke your heart I understand that, but you have to keep living. You can’t just stop and expect everyone else to look after you and pick things up if you fall apart’’ He told me as I nodded slowly and turned back, I knew that he was right, I had to try and get past how much I was hurting, even if I didn’t want too. I still loved Tommy with my whole heart and the conversation I had overheard with his sister still hurt deeply.

Packing my books in to my bag again, I let a small sigh out before closing the locker door and spun the dial to lock it again. Turning away with Brad, I kept my eyes on the ground as we walked, my mind on Tommy still and how I had been ignoring his phone calls, I knew he was home, he had left a voice mail asking what was going on and why I had just disappeared like I did, but he told me that he had been discharged and that he was at home, that Lisa was helping him out with Mia every so often before he asked me to answer at least one of his calls or just get in touch to let him know that I was okay.  
Feeling myself get knocked in to, I glanced up and behind me before I paused, my heart racing as I noticed Tommy stood by his locker, a hand pressing against his side slightly as someone I didn’t know stood beside him with his bag over his shoulder along with his own.  
‘’Adam, honeys are you okay?’’ Brad asked as I turned to look at him before back down at Tommy again as he nodded towards something on the higher shelf of his locker which his friend reached up to get for him.  
‘’I didn’t expect him back at school so soon’’ I whispered as he sighed and moved around to stand in front of me, his hands holding up to press against my chest as he pushed me back slightly,  
‘’Forget about him Adam, he’s the fool for not getting in touch…he has hasn’t he?’’ Brad asked as I looked down and swallowed slightly, ‘’Adam, has he tried ringing you?’’ He asked  
‘’Yeah but I haven’t answered any of them’’ I shrugged,  
‘’How many times has he called?’’  
‘’Lost count’’ I admitted as he gasped out a sigh and shook his head,  
‘’Adam, why didn’t you tell me anything, or at least answer one just to see what his majesty had to say at least for breaking your heart…he does know that you heard him and his sister doesn’t he?’’ He asked, staying silent, I could practical hear the gears clicking to place inside Brad’s mind as he sighed, ‘’you are such an idiot Adam, I swear’’ Looking away to look back towards Tommy, I noticed that he was leaning against the locker and shaking his head as he moved his body slightly and lifted his shirt, deep down I knew that he was looking at the stitches from the wounds, but I didn’t know why until his friend leaned down and held something against it as he handed what looked like tape towards Tommy before he started to attach some. Even from the distance, I could see some pain on his face and it just made me want to go towards him before the bell rang and Brad was pushing me away again.

Getting through half the day slowly, I found myself sitting at the table in the lunch room with a few of the others before the chair beside me moved and I quickly looked up to see someone pulling it away to move to another table and sit at the end of it before I turned back again and caught the look which Brad threw towards me.  
‘’Are you okay Adam, I mean you haven’t been in school for a while now but you were looking good but today you look like hell’’ Looking up, I sighed before shrugging.  
‘’Just got things on my mind, that’s all’’ I told her as she nodded and turned away again, I knew that I should’ve just pretended that I didn’t hear their conversation and stepped inside the room, a fake smile on my face but I could help but think over what I had heard, the way Tommy had said about how he used to use or how he pretty much knew one of the people who had shot him.  
‘’Adam’’ Sighing, I rubbed the back of my neck slightly,  
‘’I said I was fine’’ Looking up, I noticed Brad biting his lip slightly before I turned to see Mia stood there, a few people looking towards her and I knew half of it was because of the tight pants she was wearing along with the leather jacket and the bike helmet in her hand.  
‘’What are you doing here?’’ I asked knowing that she didn’t come to this school. ‘’wait how did you even get on the grounds’’  
‘’That doesn’t matter, but I think you and I need a little talk don’t you about a certain blonde’’ She spoke out before I rolled my eyes and turned back,  
‘’There’s nothing to talk about Mia, you should just leave before a teacher notices you’’ I told her before her helmet was pressed down on the table beside me.

‘’Like hell I care Adam, he is confused at why you walked away like you did and now you are ignoring his phone calls which he has been leaving for nearly two weeks now, what the hell is going on with you?’’ She asked.  
‘’With me, Why don’t you go ask your precious little blonde Mia, I mean Tommy’s the one who broke my heart…not the other way around’’ I told her back not caring about the few heads turned towards us as I pushed my chair back and grabbed my bag. ‘’im not the one who’s been keeping secrets’’

Walking away, I could feel my heart crashing against my chest as I pulled the strap up over my shoulder and moved towards my locker, numb fingers unlocking it so I could pull my jacket and car keys out before I slammed it shut again and done it back up.  
‘’He kept them secret for a reason Adam, his parents meant a lot to him’’ Rolling my eyes, I turned back to look at Mia who was walking towards me before glancing over her shoulder and back again as I laughed.  
‘’Im not on about them Mia, im on about the using and who was it…oh yeah Malcolm was it?’’ I asked before her face fell slightly, ‘’yeah I thought so’’  
‘’Malcolm was the reason Tommy started using drugs’’ Mia spoke out which had me pausing as I walked away from her, my head turning before I half turned to look towards her as she sighed, ‘’he was an abusive asshole none of us saw coming, he made Tommy start on drugs and then when the abuse started…god I thought we were going to lose Tommy but he got away, moved in with his sister, got clean and started a new life and then he met you Adam and I swear to god…I’ve not seen Tommy smile the way he has with you’’ Mia spoke out before footsteps started to get closer and she turned in the direction before moving closer, ‘’please…just talk with me Adam, Tommy has told me to let you know everything if you will just listen to me’’ She begged, the small bit of information which she had already shared going through my mind before I nodded slowly.  
‘’There’s a small diner near where I live, meet me there’’ I told her as she nodded and walked closer, feeling her kiss my cheek before running off, I let a small breath out and leaned back against the lockers as the footsteps got louder and I turned to see a teacher coming around the corner only to turn and walk towards the staff room.

Sneaking out of school and driving away, I found myself parked up outside the diner sooner than I had thought, Mia’s bike a few spaces away before I climbed out the car and locked it before heading inside, glancing around, I spotted where she was sat before I walked over and slid in to the booth across from her.  
‘’Thank you’’ She whispered as I looked at her and shrugged.  
‘’Im only hear because I want to know why Tommy lied and hurt me’’ I whispered out to her weakly before she nodded and looked around the diner for a few moments, almost as if she was trying to work out where to start before she turned back and reached over, a hand moving over mine, our fingers moving together as she took a sharp breath and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of left this one on a clif hanger when I decided that I wanted the next part to be in the next chapter instead.


	11. Roller-coaster

_‘’Okay, so mom is expecting us at hers about 7:30 tonight, so we have plenty of time to hang out and grab lunch with Brad as he wanted us both together, probably just to see what you are really like outside of school’’ I laughed softly as I glanced over at Tommy as he smiled back._   
_‘’Sounds like a good plan’’ He grinned out, our hands tangled together as we walked along the beach, the waves lapping at our bare toes before he swung our arms a little with a smile._   
_‘’What are you thinking?’’ I asked him as he looked back out over the ocean again before turning back,_   
_‘’about how much today feels perfect’’ He told with a smile as I nodded._   
_‘’Any reason why it feels perfect’’ I asked as he shrugged,_   
_‘’Not really, it just does’’ Tommy told me as I nodded and let his hand go to wrap my arm around his shoulders as his moved around my waist just as tight._

_Settling back on to Tommy’s bed, I watched as he dug through his drawers, small mutters on his voice as he looked for the shirt he had been telling me about on the walk back to his place._   
_‘’Baby, mom wont care what you are wearing just as long as you are wearing clothes’’ I told him softly with a grin,_   
_‘’I know but its my favorite shirt Adam, stop staring at my ass and help me look’’ He called back without turning back and I couldn’t help but laugh softly before I climbed off his bed and walked over, my hands folding themselves over his ass before wrapping around his waist as I pulled him back against me and away from the drawer._   
_‘’Can’t help but stare when you wave it about in front of me like that’’ I whispered in to his ear softly as his arms moved around mine, ‘’forget about the shirt okay, you can find it another day, mom will love you regardless of a black shirt or not’’ I told him as he sighed but nodded,_   
_‘’Okay, okay, only because im trusting you with what you are saying, but if she doesn’t like me im totally blaming you for staring at my ass and not helping me find it’’ He warned me as I grinned and pressed a kiss against his neck softly before nipping at his skin which had him moving in my arms before he turned around and hooked his own arms around my neck._   
_‘’She will love you’’ I told him as he bit his lip but nodded._   
_‘’Okay’’ He smiled back before he leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, ‘’im going to go shower and im locking the door, I don’t want you coming in and us ending up having sex in there again and being late to meet Brad, I don’t fancy the questions like ‘oh Tommy, you have a scratch on your neck, how did that happen’ I still can’t believe you attacked me with the shampoo bottle last time’’ Tommy grinned as he ducked under my arms as I laughed still from him trying to impersonate Brad’s voice._   
_‘’Hey it wasn’t my fault you decided to grab the shelf and knock it off, I tried to grab it before it hit you at least’’ I told him as his laugh echoed from the bathroom._   
_‘’it was your fault I grabbed it in the first place, fucking hell you could’ve warned me that you were going to thrust that hard’’ Tommy laughed before he stepped out and winked towards me before pulling his shirt off and chucked it towards me._   
_‘’Well you shouldn’t be so impatient’’ I muttered out._   
_‘’ I heard that’’ He called,_   
_‘’You were meant to beautiful’’ I called back as he laughed and pushed the bathroom door closed, the click sliding in to place had me grinning as I walked over to the bed again and moved one of the pillows to pick the shirt up he had been looking for, smirking to myself, I folded it up neatly and walked back over to the drawers and pushed it in to the one below where he had been looking and shut it softly again._

_‘’You made it at least on time’’ Turning, I grinned as I noticed Tommy walking towards us, his leather jacket left open against his white shirt as he shrugged,_   
_‘’Yeah sorry’’ He blushed out, ‘’kind of got stuck in my bathroom’’ He mumbled which I laughed at before I started to cough on the small amount of drink I had tried to swallow at the same time, the glare he sent me making me laugh again as Brad joined in._   
_‘’How on earth did that happen?’’ He asked,_   
_‘’I had locked my door and the lock stuck, I forgot I need to replace it still’’ He shrugged out as he dropped down beside me at the table, ‘’so im here…what did you want?’’ He asked as he looked between the two of us before back to Brad again._   
_‘’Nothing, just wanted to have lunch with my best friend and his English partner who likes to hang out with the kiddies’’ Brad teased before he stood, ‘’right, im going to go get some more drinks in and you two can look at what you want to order’’ He smiled before heading off again._   
_‘’Really, you got stuck in the bathroom’’ I asked as the blush came back and Tommy nodded,_   
_‘’Yeah, the lock sticks if the bathroom gets too hot and I keep meaning to fix it but I keep forgetting and im also a little late because I might of jerked off’’ He shrugged as I stared at him, ‘’what’’_   
_‘’Noth…nothing, just…actually no ,never mind, don’t want the images in my mind while having lunch with Brad of all people’’ I groaned as I rubbed my hand over my face and Tommy laughed before I felt his hand slide on to my thigh._   
_‘’What’s wrong Adam, afraid that you are going to get hard in public with the images of me jerking off to the thought of you on your knees sucking me off again’’ He whispered as I grabbed my drink and swallowed some of it down before I batted his hand away._   
_‘’Behave Tommy’’ I warned as he laughed and moved away slightly._

_‘’So where were you living before moving here to San Diageo?’’ Brad asked and I looked up at him before over at Tommy whose eyes moved away from somewhere else to look at him._   
_‘’Burbank’’ Tommy told him before he chuckled softly, ‘’im surprised you didn’t pick up on the valley accent really’’ Tommy grinned out as Brad laughed and shook his head. I was glad that they were getting on together and that Brad hadn’t asked any awkward questions yet._   
_‘’You okay, you seem distracted’’ Looking up again as Tommy turned back, he shrugged slightly,_   
_‘’Im okay, can’t say much about the kid over there though’’ He gritted out as we both turned to see where he was looking. ‘’can’t people just leave others alone for once?’’ Tommy muttered out as we watched the other guy push the smaller one again roughly._   
_‘’Happens all the time, I wouldn’t worry about it honey’’ Brad told him as he waved a fry around before placing it in his mouth._   
_‘’It isn’t right’’ Tommy spoke out,_   
_‘’Tommy, its nothing to do with us, just leave it alone, like Brad says, it happens all the time with those guys, the best thing to do is just stay away’’ I told him as he turned back to stare at me, his eyes boring in to mine as I swallowed slightly and looked away again._   
_‘’You are honestly going to sit there and not do anything…either of you?’’ Tommy asked before I sighed,_   
_‘’There isn’t anything we can do, don’t you think others have tried and failed?’’ Brad spoke as Tommy shook his head again and angrily bit down on a bit of burger in front of him before he pushed the tray away. Glancing over at Brad, I let my hand under the table move over Tommy’s thigh softly as I squeezed it._   
_‘’Just leave it alone Tommy, it isn’t anything to do with us or you’’ I told him as he turned to look at me,_   
_‘’I can’t sit here and do nothing Adam’’ He told me before I sighed and squeezed his thigh softly again as I turned away and looked towards the kid who was being backed up by two guys now._

_‘’Tommy’’ Looking up at Brad’s voice, I turned to see Tommy getting to his feet before e both moved and I moved around to stand in front of him, my hands against his chest as he looked at me,_   
_‘’Please just drop it and walk away, there’s no need for you to get hurt’’ I begged as he shook his head,_   
_‘’There’s three of them and one of him Adam, that isn’t fair, I can’t just sit here and watch them beat the crap out of the kid because someone else is too scared to do anything about it’’ Tommy shot back as I bit my lip slightly and looked towards Brad for any help, his own face empty of things to do._   
_Feeling him walk around me, I breathed out and looked towards Brad as he shrugged,_   
_‘’The boy has guts, I give him that’’ He spoke out as I shook my head,_   
_‘’That isn’t helping Brad, Tommy shouldn’t be doing this, it isn’t his fight’’ I said as I turned to see him moving between the three guys and the smaller kid behind him before I noticed him freeze slightly himself. Watching as Tommy shoved one of them back as they tried to get closer, I turned and rubbed my hands over my face as I tried to block out sound before the loud bangs echoed around the area we were in. turning quickly, I watched as Tommy moved back slightly, his eyes wide as he stared at the three of them before one said something and nudged the one next to them before they went off running, turning back to stare at Tommy, I watched as he slowly looked down, his hand coming up to his stomach area before his body fell forward on to his knees before landing back._   
_‘’Tommy’’ I yelled out before I found myself running and falling to my own knees beside him as tears formed in my eyes already, ‘’come on, please’’ I whispered out as I turned and stared down at his own hands, realizing what had happened, I moved and let my hand press against his own as I turned back towards Brad. ‘’Get some fucking help now, they shot him…they fucking shot him’’ I broke out as the color drained from Brad’s face slightly and he went running inside the beach side café._

.oΩo.

‘’Tommy met Malcolm when he was eleven, he went a different school, lost contact before meeting again at fourteen, they started dating but by that time Tommy realized how bad it was, he tried to get out and away from Malcolm threatened him and his sister, he stayed out of fear and done everything to try and keep him happy but no matter what, he still ended up being hit and forced to do the drugs with him. The start of this year, it finally got to a point where Tommy just ran, Lisa had already moved before then and he found her again and begged her to let him stay until he could get his own place on the coast, promised to get clean, she believed him because she knew that that person wasn’t her little brother, she trusted him and he stuck to everything he said, he got clean, he found his own place, got his life back on track’’ Mia told me before pausing as someone walked over, ordering a water, I sat back again as I looked towards her.  
‘’Why did he lie to me?’’ I asked quietly,  
‘’Every since he lost his parents, Tommy’s been afraid to fall in love because he thought that if he loved someone as much as he loved his parents that they will be taking from his life like they were’’ Mia told me, ‘’he was also afraid that you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you if you knew about the drug use in his past, that’s another why he has his tattoo’s, to cover up the track marks on his arms’’  
‘’That wasn’t true, I wouldn’t of cared, he was clean, he sorted himself out so why lie to me, Mia that hurt me so much when I heard him and Lisa’’ I told her before her eyes widened.  
‘’You overheard that?’’ She asked and I frowned slightly,  
‘’you were there?’’’ I asked as she nodded slightly,  
‘’Yeah’’ Sitting back, I turned and stared out the window as I tried to sort through everything I had been told, the way I felt before I felt her touch against my hand again.  
‘’Despite what Tommy says Adam, he loves you okay, he’s been tearing himself up over the reasons why you had left like you did’’ She told me as I nodded numbly.  
‘’That’s why he froze that day’’ I whispered as she frowned,  
‘’I don’t understand’’  
‘’The day he got shot, when he first moved between them all and looked at the other guys, Tommy froze…he must of realized it was Malcolm’’ I said as she nodded,  
‘’Yeah, I don’t think either of them expected that either, but from what I heard, Malcolm was trying to find Tommy, that he wanted to hurt him for leaving him like he did, but you don’t have to worry about him any more, neither does Tommy okay, he is locked up and Tommy is alive, that is all which matters’’ Mia told me as I nodded softly.

Sitting at the kitchen table at moms, I let a small breath out before she handed over a cup of tea and I smiled softly at her in thanks before I pulled it closer and blew on it before I took a small mouthful and swallowed it down, the warmth of it warming my body up from the inside out as she moved back to where she was cooking dinner.  
‘’I messed up mom’’ I told her as she glanced over with a knowing look.  
‘’So I heard’’ she spoke out as I just looked at her surprised, ‘’Brad honey, he informed me of what happened’’  
‘’Oh’’ I muttered out as I turned back and stared down in to the tea in the cup, ‘’I still love him, god I don’t think I could stop even if I tried, I tried my best not to fall in love in the first place but I just couldn’t stay away from Tommy mom’’ I told her as she smiled softly and nodded.  
‘’I understand baby and im sure he loves you back’’ She told me as I shrugged,  
‘’Mia says that he does despite everything I had overheard, but its still hard to trust in the words when he’s always told people around him that he didn’t believe in it’’  
‘’You have to give him time Adam, let everything come to him in his own time and im sure he will finally realized what’s been going on and what happened and he will be coming back to you before you know it.’’  
‘’I guess you are right’’ I told her as she laughed,  
‘’Adam, Im your mother and moms are always right’’ Grinning softly to myself as she went back to dinner, I shook my head and bit my lip before I finished my tea off and stood up, putting the cup in to the bowl I paused before I turned to look towards her,  
‘’Do you mind if I skipped out on dinner mom?’’ I asked as she glanced up but nodded anyway,  
‘’Sure, if you really want too, but just make sure you have something decent to eat tonight Adam’’ She told me as I laughed softly and nodded, leaning over, I pressed a kiss to her cheek before I headed out and climbed back in to my car and headed home.

I wanted to be alone to think everything through, I knew that I wanted to see Tommy, but I also knew that I wanted to see him with a clear mind where I knew what I wanted to say and how to say it to him, I felt foolish for trusting him so easier but after listening to Mia and letting everything finally settle, I could understand why he had hid it behind locked doors, I would’ve done the same thing if I was in his shoes.


	12. You're the saint and I'm the sinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keep a look out, I will be posting the last chapter in abit

Walking through the school hallway, I couldn’t help but glance around as a few people turned towards me before away again, knowing full well that they were still wondering about the day before with Mia, from the whispers Brad had heard and relayed back to me, they were wondering what was going on as I wasn’t seen back in school after lunch.   
‘’Brad’’ I spoke out quietly as I came up beside him in the lunch hall, his body jumping slightly before he turned to look at me with wide eyes.   
‘’I thought you said you weren’t going to come in to school today?’’ He asked as I shrugged.   
‘’Changed my mind, didn’t want to be at home, would’ve thought too much or gone back to Mia’s for more answers to my questions’’ I told him as he nodded, grabbing a tray, I picked some lunch up and moved along the line with him before we were heading in to the main lunch room to head towards the table.  
‘’I heard it was a drug deal gone wrong’’ A girl whispered out towards her friend loudly as we past their table and sat down at ours,   
‘’Not what I heard, I heard he tried forcing himself on some girl and her boyfriend attacked him with a blade’’ Her friend whispered back before I glanced towards Brad who was looking at me. ‘’well whatever it was, Im surprised that Tommy kid is even in school’’  
‘’I still think it was brave of Tommy to protect that kid’’ Brad grinned out to me, his voice loud enough for the girls to hear who I saw turn slightly, ‘’I mean the kid may not off survived being shot like Tommy was’’  
‘’Brad, don’t you think you should stop, I mean we were there we know what happened and I don’t really want to re live that okay, I still wake up from nightmares of Tommy’s blood over my hands and clothes still’’ I told him softly, not to let the girls hear but more of trying to get him to stop.  
‘’Adam come on, I know you’re still beating yourself up for what happened but it wasn’t your fault okay, Tommy’s strong willed and like he’s said, he gets in to fights because he’s tried to protect someone else like the kid, no one knew that they had a gun and even if Tommy did, I doubt that would’ve stopped him from getting in between the three of them’’ Brad told me with a soft look, ‘’he’s alive, that’s what matters the most no matter how stupid you are both being.’’  
‘’I don’t know what to do any more Brad, that’s the thing, hearing what I did and knowing all this stuff, its…its just messed my mind up and I don’t know what to do’’ I told him honestly as I pulled my eyes away from where I knew the two girls were listening to look at Brad fully.  
‘’I say you go rescue your man’’ Brad told me before he nodded towards the doors, turning my head,  I looked down and through the doors to where Tommy’s locker was and him stood there, a hand over his stomach as he leaned up. ‘’do it before one of these bimbos behind me tries too’’ He whispered out not so quietly, a few people sitting with us laughing as I felt a faint smile tugging at my lips before it fell again.  
‘’He isn’t my man Brad’’  
‘’You keep telling yourself that Adam, no one fucks around and commits to their fuck buddy without it being a relationship’’ Brad told me in a sing song voice as I pushed myself up on to my feet and grabbed my bottle of coke and my bag.

Walking away, I couldn’t help but feel my heart crash against my chest as I got closer to Tommy, the look of pain clear on his face before his hand moved and hit against the lockers, forehead being rested against the metal before he pushed away again and reached back up to the top shelf as I moved closer behind him.  
Reaching up, I grabbed the book he was trying to get and pulled it down as he spun around, eyes going wide as I swallowed slightly and looked down at the book before back up again as I held it out to him.  
‘’You should get someone to put your books lower’’ I told him quietly as he tried to drop his hand away from his body before I could notice, his hands slowly reaching for the book in my hands.  
‘’Thanks and it shouldn’t matter soon anyway’’ He told me with a half shrug as he turned back around and pushed it in to his bag which was sat in his open locker.  
‘’Soon…why, what’s happening’’ I asked quietly before he glanced over his shoulder at me. Looking at him properly, I could see the dark marks under his eyes and the way his skin seemed to be a little paler than normal along with the tired look in his eyes.  
‘’I mean soon as in when these stupid things heal’’ He told me before turning back, a small breath leaving his lips as I noticed his fingers tighten on the locker before dropping to his stomach again which he glanced down at.  
‘’Oh…how have you been?’’ I asked quietly as I shuffled slightly on my feet and moved to stand beside him, my back to the lunch room as he glanced up through his bangs.  
‘’Im still living so I say that’s a plus’’ Tommy told me before he turned back and looked in to his bag before doing it up and pulled it out and over his shoulder as he closed the locker door. ‘’I see that you are doing fine without me though’’ He shrugged out before turning away.   
‘’Tommy’’ I breathed out as I reached out and let my fingers catch on the sleeve of his jacket as I stepped away from the lockers.   
‘’What Adam…I don’t understand why you’re talking to me all of a sudden okay, you just up and disappear from the hospital and then you ignore all my call-‘’ Cutting him off by stepping closer and pressing my lips against his, I slowly moved my hand which wasn’t still holding his sleeve up to his neck before I pulled away and rested my forehead against his before slowly opening my eyes.   
‘’im stupid okay’’ I whispered to him as his eyes opened, ‘’I heard you talking to your sister that day, I ran away when I should’ve stayed and heard the whole story, I told you when we first started all this that it would end badly and it did, you got shot and I fell in love with you Tommy, you came in to my life and crashed it up against the wall’’  
‘’Adam-‘’  
‘’No Tommy, just listen to me please’’ I whispered as I slowly pulled away, my thumb running over his jaw as he stared at me with eyes open, ‘’everything I do, everything I think about is you…I dream about you, I still have nightmares and wake up in cold sweats because I dream of that day, you…you stole my heart Tommy and that scares me because I know you don’t want that and I understand that okay…everything you’re scared off, your past, everything, Mia told me it all, told me why you do the things you do and I don’t hate you okay, you just scare me because I fell for you hard and fast but it was worth it and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it’’ I told him as I felt my eyes sting slightly with tears as he reached up and laid his fingers across my wrist before he pulled it away from his neck.  
‘’Adam’’ He whispered as I shook my head.   
‘’I know Tommy okay, I know, you don’t believe in love and all that shit and I don’t care, I just don’t regret a single day of us okay and I just hope you don’t either no matter how much I love-‘’

Getting cut off by Tommy’s own kiss, I let my eyes close as a single tear escaped and rolled down over my cheek as he pulled away again, the feeling of his thumb brushing the tear away had me opening my eyes to stare at him to see his own eyes wet with tears yet to fall.  
‘’I love you too okay’’ He whispered before swallowing, ‘’and you know how that scares me because of him, hell that day, the moment I noticed it was him I was scared and my mind flashed straight to you and how I didn’t want him to hurt you if he decided to do that, I wanted to protect you as much as I wanted to protect that kid and yeah it nearly cost me my life but you are worth that risk because I love you’’ Tommy whispered to me.  
‘’Kids’’ Turning, I brought a hand up and scrubbed at my eyes before I glanced back again to see our music teacher stood there, her arms folded over her chest before she smiled sweetly, ‘’as much as I think its adorable that you are finally telling each other your true feelings which everyone has been able to see between you, I don’t think the hallway during school hours is the right time to do it’’ She said softly as I breathed out and nodded.   
‘’Sorry’’ I replied before I felt Tommy move beside me.   
‘’Hey Adam…shit Tommy you’re bleeding’’ Turning to look at Brad before I noticed his eyes on Tommy, I turned back just in time to see Tommy look down at his own shirt, his hand moving his jacket away to show the red stain growing bigger on his white top.  
‘’I don’t feel too good’’ Tommy muttered, ‘’I thought it would be fine’’  
‘’Tommy’’ I spoke out as he glanced up at me. ‘’what do you mean you thought it would be fine’’  
‘’I broke a few stitches when trying to get my books’’ He told me, his face going a little more pale, ‘’I bandaged myself back up with my spare stuff I’ve been carrying, I felt a little faint but..’’ He shrugged slightly before he swayed a little, moving closer, I wrapped my arm around his waist. ‘’sorry’’ He grinned weakly, ‘’not much of a start out is it’’ He tried to chuckle as I shook my head.   
‘’Come on boys, Mr. Bell I can assume that you will fill in for Adam’s next few classes’’ She asked before I looked up with a frown.   
‘’Miss’’ I asked before she smiled and winked towards me,   
‘’I don’t think Tommy should be in school don’t you’’ She asked as I shook my head, ‘’well them lets get him to the nurse’s station and patched back up before you take him home and make sure he rests and I will be expecting a phone call tomorrow and maybe for a few days to hear that you have suddenly taken ill’’

Grinning slightly at her as she turned and walked away, I looked over at Brad who smiled and took our bags before I turned back to look at Tommy who smiled at me.   
‘’We’re going to be okay right?’’ He asked as I smiled and nodded.   
‘’Of course we are, Im not letting you out of bed until you are healed up fully’’ I told him as we turned, his hand moving up to try and cover the stain which was already bigger than his palm as we started to walk down the hall and after the teacher, ignoring the few looks we were getting and Tommy was getting with their eyes moving to his shirt, I kept my hold on him tightly before I turned my head slightly and pressed a kiss to his temple. ‘’we’re going to be just fine’’ I whispered in to his ear. 


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So This is it for another fic...The ending has finally come yet again :( But thank you to all those who has stuck by me and took the time to read my work.  
> It was worth every second I've spent writing this fic, from the moment I first got the idea to this moment now...It's been nothing but a battle of ups and downs with trying to work out how to word things, to place what parts where and to create a link between the characters strong enough to make it seem real.  
> But this is it, the last chapter of Black Birds soaring in the sky. I'm going to miss writing this one a lot.

‘’Come on Adam, im fine now okay’’ Hearing’s Tommy’s voice from the bedroom, I rolled my eyes slightly before I walked through back in again, the box in my arms still before I placed it down and walked over to him.  
‘’I know baby but as the doctors said the other week, you still have to be careful and not lift anything heavy because it could tear the soft scar tissue’’ I whispered softly before leaning down to brush my lips across his as he glared up at me. Smirking a little, I turned away again and moved back to the box as he groaned.   
‘’But it doesn’t mean you have to handcuff me to your bed’’ He called out after me as I headed back through my apartment and out to the car where I pushed the last box in and closed the trunk again.

Heading back inside, I looked around the empty place before I moved back to the bedroom where I had left Tommy to see him trying to pull at the cuffs.   
‘’Baby you’re going to hurt your wrist in a minute’’ I told him as he jumped and looked over at me,   
‘’There’s a safety catch I know there is, you used it the other night when we had sex to stop me from touching or hurting myself but I can’t find it’’ He growled out as he turned back, laughing as I walked over, I fell to my knees in front of him before pushing his legs apart and moved closer.   
‘’Do you really want to know how to undo them?’’ I asked as he dropped his free hand and rested it over my shoulder, his brown eyes meeting mine with a sigh before he shook his head and closed his eyes again as I reached up and found the small catch near the chain and pushed it in and across before the cuff opened and Tommy’s wrist fell free.  ‘’better’’ I asked as I covered his wrist with my hand and rubbed at it softly before I pulled it up and pressed soft kisses against his slightly red skin as he smiled and nodded.  
‘’Yeah, a lot better’’ Tommy told me as he moved his hand to my jaw and tilted my head up as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine softly before pulling away again. ‘’so is that everything?’’ He asked as I took a last glance around my empty bedroom and nodded.   
‘’Yup I think so, car is packed up with the last few boxes of mine all ready to join my other stuff back at your place’’ I told him as he smiled and ran his fingers through my hair.   
‘’You mean our place’’ He whispered with a smile which I returned.   
‘’Yeah, ours’’ I whispered as I slowly pushed up and gently pushed Tommy back against the bare mattress on the bed as my hands moved to his sides and pushed his shirt up slowly as I knelt between his spread legs. ‘’You’re so beautiful’’ I whispered to him as I leaned down and lightly brushed kisses over his chest before I moved lower and lightly kissed over the healed wounds on his stomach, the scars slightly raised and paler than his skin before I pulled away and moved back over him, my eyes searching his as he smiled and wrapped his arms around my neck.   
‘’I love you’’ Hearing our words getting mixed at the same time, I couldn’t help but return Tommy’s large smile as I leaned down and brushed my lips over his.

Yeah everything was perfect now.


End file.
